Taking the Time to Look, Listen, and Learn

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

The Tenderness of Christmas

When Jesus's older cousin John the Baptist was born, his father, Zechariah, sang a song of praise.  Because of his initial doubt in the promise of his son's birth, he had been mute throughout his wife's pregnancy, and now at the fulfillment of the promise, his faith brimming, he was ready to sing.

His song proclaims God's mercy.  How fitting for Zechariah to sing of God's mercy in the face of his own recent doubt and its consequences; now his voice is restored and he has received a huge gift, a son. He is ready to sing.

My favorite part of the song is this charge to his new baby:
"And you, my son, will be called a prophet of the Most High;
  for you will go on before the Lord to prepare the way for Him,
to give His people the knowledge of salvation
  through the forgiveness of sins,
because of the tender mercy of our God,
  by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven
to shine on those living in darkness
  and in the shadow of death,
to guide our feet into the path of peace" (Luke 1: 76-79).

I love that John's teaching on salvation through forgiveness of sins--rather than salvation by works--reveals the tender mercy of God.  I love that it's not just mercy, but tender mercy. We are tender with lovers or tender with children.  Tenderness is delicate, the way you handle an exquisite flower so it won't lose its petals, the brushing of fingertips on a cheek, tucking wispy hair behind a child's ear, the soft press of lips to a forehead.  Our God has tenderness towards us.  Tender mercy.

And this tender mercy, this gift of grace, manifests itself in the light of Christmas. We see the lights of houses--beautiful, happy, celebratory.  And we see the delicate flicker of a candle, perhaps more in tune with the tender light Zechariah is proclaiming: "the rising sun will come to us from heaven to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death."  Even though such a light, a rising sun, is huge--like a trumpet blast--I keep thinking of the sweet light that goes with tender mercy--the softness of a candle--when we all look our most beautiful.  The peace and relaxation of candlelight.

I guess that's why this light goes so perfectly with the birth of a baby--a savior, yes! Trumpet blast!--but the tender mercy, the humble manger, the innocence and purity of a baby.  The sun.  And the candle.

The light from heaven--magnanimous to save, yet intimate to individually light our path of peace.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Christ is a Boy's Name

At lunch today I told my daughter that her school friend and her mom would be coming over next week one day during the school holidays. My son and daughter then wanted to guess the mom's name.

"Kri...," I hinted.

"Chris!" They both shouted.

"No."

"Kris Kringle!" my daughter said.

"No."

"Christ!" my son tried.

"No." I burst out laughing.

"Why are you laughing?" he asked earnestly.  "It's a serious name."

"Christ is a boy's name!" my daughter explained.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Mary's Heart

This morning I was reading the Magnificat, Mary's song to the Lord after hearing affirmation that she will give birth to the awaited Messiah.

Just before her song, her cousin Elizabeth says, "'Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear! But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?  As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy.  Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!'" (Luke 1:42-45).

Elizabeth's proclamation shows what status was now bestowed upon Mary as the mother of the Lord. Mary is called blessed, and Elizabeth even wonders how she deserves to have a visit from this prestigious person.

But none of this has gone to Mary's head. Where she could have walked a little taller, stood a little prouder, she instead keeps her posture humble before the Lord. 

The beginning of her song is:
"My soul glorifies the Lord
and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for He has been mindful
of the humble state of His servant" (Luke 1:46-48).

I broke this down in my prayer journal this morning to make this more personal to me.  After each phrase, I wrote in parentheses my own prayer that echoed Mary's but was personal to me.  For example, "My soul glorifies the Lord" (I want to glorify you, Lord, in all I do.  Help me reflect you.  Help me be intentional in my time and actions).  I had heard to do this with the Psalms to deepen my prayer life, and I thought it would work here, too. It helped me relate more to the hugeness of Mary's humility in the face of her circumstances.

I am so encouraged by Mary's humble heart.  She maintains a focus on the the priorities of God's glory, God's saving grace, God's careful tending to His people, and her own reflection of His greatness.

"From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me--holy is His name" (Luke 1:48-49).  She recognizes that her "fame" (for lack of a better word) is not for anything she did; it is all because of what the Mighty One did for her.

And what He did for her He also did for all of us.  He has done great things for us...Holy is His name.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Stealing a Moment to Read

This morning I had planned to get my car inspected after volunteering at the library.  I decided to keep the baby at home with our sitter because he would still be napping after I left the library and I could get these two things checked off at once. 

When I got to Express Lube, the attendant informed me that I did not need my car inspected; I had mixed up the numbers (11 and 10) and thought it expired in November of 2010, but he said the sticker was, in fact, good until October of 2011. Wow! That sort of thing never happens.

So, I had a little extra time on my hands. I did have three quick errands I could run, and those are always a million times faster if I'm by myself. Truly, they took minutes instead of an hour.

But I had been looking forward to finishing my book while I waited for the car to be inspected. I decided I would do the unthinkable. I went to a coffee shop and finished the last few pages of my book. I think I was there only 15 minutes, but the coffee was hot and comforting. It felt like the height of luxury.

But I also felt a little guilty. I felt like I should have gone home to get my baby who was definitely awake by now.  I felt like I was doing something I shouldn't be doing. A little illegal. I'm a stay-at-home mom.  Am I allowed to go get coffee and read a book by myself in the middle of the morning?

I have to say I loved it. I am wondering how I can incorporate this into my routine a little more--sans the guilt.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Technologically Challenged

Almost as soon as I created this blog, originally called "Professional Mothering," I changed the name to "Reflective Mothering."  The original purpose for the blog is explained here: http://reflectivemothering.blogspot.com/2010/04/professional-reflective-mothering.html.

But I couldn't figure out how to change the web address, so even though the title changed, the address was still at http://www.professionalmothering/.......

Well, I finally figured out how to change the address to correspond with the title, but I find out the emails aren't getting out. Ahhh! I am trying to see if I fixed this yet. My mom had some catching up to do on entries last night!

Here's hoping I fixed the problem.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Playing School

Today my four-year-old daughter asked if I would play school with her. This usually consists of my "sitting on the line" and listening and occasionally raising my hand to answer questions.  It's pretty much a one-woman show though.  She really knows her stuff and has great classroom management. 

Today she read a Christmas story. She said she would sing the story, and then she sang part of a song she must be learning at school in music class for the upcoming Christmas show.  It started strong, and then she flipped the page and saw Mary and the angel, so she made up a little tune about Mary and the angel, then she flipped and saw Joseph leading the donkey with Mary, so she sang about "Jesus' daddy was taking Mary camping."  Then she got to the next page and seemed stumped, so she said, "This book has two parts: It's first about the baby Jesus, then it's about Mary had a little lamb" and she broke out into "Mary Had a Little Lamb."

Well, I can definitely see the beauty of letting "Mary Had a Little Lamb" take on a theological meaning. 

Dear Santa

My five-year-old son wrote a letter to Santa yesterday while I was addressing Christmas cards.  It was his idea. It took forever.  He asked me how to spell each word--except "the."

This is what it said:
"Do you get tired Santa Claus?  I hope it is not too much trouble to get the reindeer and elves ready to get the presents loaded on the sled. Write Back. Signed, Oliver."

Then once it was sealed and stamped, he decided it might be nice to attach some fallen pine needles from our tree to decorate the envelope. He kept saying how much he thought Santa would like that.

I told him it was a very thoughtful letter. It really is dear.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Cleaning Up, Kids' Style

I asked the big kids to please clean up the playroom since we were having friends over the next day.

"Sure," I heard.

Then I heard the zip of bags and a lot of planning.

"We're going to California!" my daughter explained. They each had duffle bags and backpacks filled with random items from their rooms that they might need in California: the baby's musical seahorse, a picture of the baby, house shoes, a sweatshirt, stuffed animals, a doll, a rainmaker, books, a Barbie microphone, half of a game of Go Fish, a devotional, coloring books, a collection of Littlest Pet Shop.

Back and forth down the hall, carrying their luggage, shouting orders at each other, chirping about who they were visiting, plans getting grander and grander.

Meanwhile, I was cooking dinner and feeding the baby in the kitchen, so I was on the periphery of this expedition.

When I checked in, I saw this:

Well, so much for cleaning up. When is my trip to California?

Monday, December 6, 2010

Garden Poetry

The kids and I went to a friend's house last Wednesday afternoon. This friend is a chef, and she and her husband have a wonderful garden. 

Part of the yard is a stretch of kid-friendly lawn with swingset, push toys, balls, and trampoline dotting the landscape.  Part of the yard is a beautiful gated pool with rock work surrounding it. Then, tucked away behind a gate is a secret vegetable garden.

The kids were allowed to pluck a Meyer Lemon from the tree to bring home; it smelled so much more lemony than at the grocery store.  They were asked to guess the fruit on the fig tree (ah, my uncultured babes did not know).  They eyed the peppers, the chard, the basil, the tomatoes (and in the summer the garden goes gangbusters; this is December, after all.).

Once when we ate a simple pizza dinner over there, my friend made the salad by walking out to the garden and gathering the goodies, whipping up some dressing once inside, and assembling a mouthwatering dish.

This all sounds so poetic to me, so connected to the earth and the creator.  It sounds like such a beautifully simple and honest way to live, to plant a garden and tend to a garden and eat from the garden. 

It reminds me of the inspiring Barbara Kingsolver book I read last summer, Animal, Vegetable, Miracle (which I highly recommend).  Kingsolver, whose fiction I hugely admire, spent a year living off of only what they grew or found from local farmers.  She and her husband and kids were already very handy in the garden before they began this experiment, but it was still a daring adventure which they chronicled beautifully.

I had been a reluctant (shy?) and confused organic food person before reading that book. I felt overwhelmed by the whole topic, but she brought it to a level that not only made sense scientifically, but completely fed my romantic notions of gardens and food.

I have talked about having an herb garden ever since I had a home, but I still haven't done it. I still aspire to the green thumb that my husband has. But I have taken more interest in digging in the dirt. I assembled my first collection of potted plants early fall, and it's time to change it.  And we had a tomato plant last summer that we actually ate from a time or two. It's a start. Thank God for those who inspire.

"Then God said, 'Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to the various kinds.'  And it was so. ... And God saw that it was good" (Genesis 1: 11-12).

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Balance Beam

I remember as a child learning to walk on a balance beam, arms out, teetering back and forth until steady enough for a step.  One step forward. Steady. Another step.  Keep the arms out.  It seemed like a long stretch on that beam (even if it was only a few inches off the ground).

As my kids have learned to balance themselves, they love to hop up on any curb or short wall and walk along it as far as they can.  Arms out like airplane flaps, dipping to the right, dipping to the left.  Such concentration.  And such pride in their ability to balance.

Being a mom is pretty much a balancing act. This morning, in thinking of what I like about my life today and what I'm considering adding to my schedule, I am thinking of balance.

What do I use to ensure I stay balanced? What are my "outstretched arms" that keep me on the path, even as I teeter and come close to falling?

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight" (Proverbs 3:5-6).

"Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you.
Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm.
Do not swerve to the right or the left" (Proverbs 4:25-27a).

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Baby Proof

We have finally stepped up the babyproofing around our house to make it a little less stressful with our toddling one-year-old. The lovely white clips now adorn our under-sink cabinets, and we've been diligent about keeping potty lids down. Sadly, the little guy has recently learned to lift the lids.  What is it about toilet water that's as intriguing as the ocean? Splash, splash.  And what is it about a plunger that's so tantalizing?  The bigs kids and I are contemplating giving the baby a fresh new plunger for Christmas.

When I go to friends' houses, however, I have to follow the baby around. Most of my friends do not have one-year-olds, and have long since abandoned babyproofing.  Whereas my kids will yell-- "Mom! He has something little in his mouth! He could choke!"--my friends' kids think nothing of leaving legos or a coin collection at close range. 

Yesterday was a stellar example. We had barely arrived at my friend's house, and the baby was intrigued with a tennis ball in the living room.  Between her four kids, my three, and four different neighborhood kids that arrived while I was there, we had a lot of children to keep track of.  Still, within minutes of arriving, we heard a shrill beeping noise piercing our ears.

"Where's George?" I said. My eyes were peeled and I raced back into the living room. No baby.

"It's a smoke alarm!" one child claimed.

"Where's George?"

We all started racing around the hallway, living room, dining room, family room, kitchen--all the while trying not to go crazy from the shrill beeeeeeep--until my friend says, "Found him.  Here he is."  We looked over, and crouched in the corner of the dining room, his eyes wide, was the baby with his finger firmly pressing the test button on the carbon monoxide detector. He was the culprit. And looked pretty stunned about it.

Fast forward about thirty minutes as the troops started getting hungry.  He must have followed the big kids as they got some oatmeal squares out of the pantry.  We knew they were sharing a little snack, and the baby was toddling back and forth between us and them.  Within a minute, we walked by and nearly tripped on that little guy, sitting on the dining room floor in the middle of a huge pile of Fritos.  He had helped himself to the pantry and grabbed whatever he could from the bottom shelf.  Those resourceful third children.

They keep us on our toes; don't they?

Monday, November 29, 2010

Lessons from Thanksgiving

When I think of Thanksgiving, I think of food and togetherness. I picture long tables with lots of people and heaping plates and laughter and talking and contentment.

My extended family usually gathers at the ranch for Thanksgiving. My grandparents bought the ranch in the 60s, and now we have four generations simultaneously enjoying its blessings.  And yes, the food and togetherness both loom large on the horizon.

Because of the ranch and its role as a gathering place and sanctuary, I value such a place for families. I see the rich fruit that can come from having a place where family and friends can gather, unwind, simplify, and be together.

The fellowship is so huge there.  Not sure if it's the fires or the stars, the walks in the hills or the cooking and cleaning in the kitchen, the music, the wine, the horses, the trucks, the land.  Even the laundry is satisfying there; sometimes it's your own, sometimes it's someone else's.

I think I love that no one is in a hurry to be anywhere else than where they are.  You want to be on a walk with the stroller and your cousin or your cousin's wife or your sister-in-law.  You want to be sitting by the fire with your aunt and grandmother.  You want to be walking your child down to the barn so he can learn to brush a horse with his great-uncle.  You want to see your children swinging with your mom and husband.  You want to walk in the evening with your son and show him the stars he can't see in the city.  You want to see your 4-year-old daughter patiently try to teach her 2-year-old cousin how to color in the lines.  You want to hear about the ones who sunk the canoe because of all the togetherness (too many in the canoe!) and then wrote a song about it.  You want to listen to your brother, uncles, and cousins make music while we all dance and maybe sing a little backup.  Where else would we want to be?

There is peace in being where you are and not trying to get somewhere else.  I need to remember this back in my daily life in the city.  I need to enjoy being where I am and not consume myself with how to get to the next place.  Sit still.  Breathe deeply.  Be grateful. 

"Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10)

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Pre-School Party Planners

For our little family celebration of the baby's 1st birthday, the big kids (age 4 and 5) and I made a cake and decorated it.  Well, all I did was put the white icing on as a base and "clean up" the letters a little.

In the middle of the decorating, I had to leave the room to change a diaper. I returned to find two mountains of sprinkles covering most of the letters. The new striped icing I bought looks more like Aquafresh toothpaste to me, but at least it didn't taste like it.

The kids also wrapped some presents for their baby brother. They worked hard and made a giant mess in the office: wrapping paper and ribbons and tape covered the floor.

Sometimes I like to go all out on the details of a party, and sometimes it's great to give up the control.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

First Birthday

Two days ago, our baby turned one. I cannot even believe how fast this year has flown. Because his birth was a scheduled c-section, it was a very calm morning, arriving at the hospital with grandparents already in town and big kids at school.  I do remember as the anasthesia was kicking in and I felt all out of whack on the operating table, I started crying, and said to my husband, "Remind me not to do this again!"

"Are you hearing what you are saying as our baby is about to be born?" he said.  Uh, yes. Excited about the baby, not the surgery.

A few minutes later, as the doctors took our little guy from my tummy, they said, "A big boy!" 

(I need to preface with the fact that I have big babies. Our first son was 10 1/2 pounds, and our "tiny baby girl" was 8 1/2.)

"He's not that big, honey; he's not that big.  He's beautiful," said my husband. He was 9 pounds. And truly gorgeous. 

The first time I saw him... that moment of recognition, the tears of awe, the exhaustion and almost confusion of his being ours, the snug bundle of blankets and tight hospital cap and t-shirt, tucked right in my arms, those squinty eyes and puckered lips, then the surrender of sleep.  A miracle.

A week ago, as he toddled down the hallway one morning in his monkey footie pajamas, our five-year-old said, "Mom, he's not a baby anymore."

"No! Don't say it!" I pleaded.  "He'll always be our baby.  Won't he?"

"No," he answered wisely.  "He's a little little little boy."

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Half-Marathon

My husband ran a half-marathon on Sunday. He has been training for months, and I was so proud of him.  A few things especially inspired me about his training and race.

1. Making a goal and sticking with it.  After his brother ran a marathon in February, he and my husband began tossing around the idea of running a half-marathon together. My husband ran track in college, but has always been a sprinter, not a distance runner. This would be a huge stretch for him. But once they committed, they stuck with it.

2. Enduring the training.  My husband began training in earnest at the beginning of the summer.  Where we live, that time of year is not exactly inspirational outdoor running weather.  He finally had to switch to running at the gym with only occasional outdoor runs. His brother helped him figure out how many miles he needed to work up to each month and week, and it was amazing to see how physically prepared he was by the time the race arrived.  He worked his way up week by week so it was never too overwhelming.  But it wasn't easy.  The training schedule had to be worked into his work schedule and our family life.  It took a lot of time and discipline to prepare.

3. Not waiting for the perfect time.  My husband, like most people, has a very busy work schedule, and with three little ones at home (and a wife that LOVES to spend time with her husband), this time in his life may not have been the easiest to start training. Where would he find the time to devote to the training?  But he decided this goal had many merits, and he dove in with my support. 

4. Having people in place to offer support and accountability.  I think one of the reasons he was successful in reaching this goal is that he had my support on the home front and his brother's support on the racing front.  Because I knew this was important to him, I could make sure our weeks allowed time for his training.  Because of his brother's accountability--checking in periodically and offering tips--my husband also had encouragement to keep pushing himself with the training.  The biggest part of this accountability was that his brother flew down to run the race alongside of him. What a huge gift and what a metaphor for brotherhood.

5. Overcoming fears and doubts to reach the goal.  The last weeks before the race, my husband was anxious about some physical issues in his legs that the running had exacerbated. He was worried that he would not be able to finish the race. We prayed about it, and it was truly an awesome gift because he finished the race!  Not only did he finish, but he and his brother had really impressive times. I was so proud of them.

What can I learn from this, standing as a cheerleader on the sidelines?  Don't wait for the "perfect time" to set a hard goal and stick with it; endure the training; establish support and accountability; and stay focused despite fears.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.  ... Endure hardship as discipline; ... No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.  Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.  Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. 'Make level paths for your feet'" (Hebrews 12: 1, 7, 11-12).

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Rainy Day Reading and Paris

This morning it rained for the first time in ages, and after digging out raincoats for the kids and getting them to school, I could focus on the sound of the rain against the car windows. Soothing.

Getting the kids' raincoats was a chore because the raincoats were not waiting patiently in the closet as they should have been. The ones that actually fit must be hiding out in the back of my husband's car because they were nowhere to be found. So we rolled up sleeves on a coat for the baby, we buttoned a snug-fitting coat for the 4-year-old, and we tried not to worry about the 3-quarter-inch sleeves on the 5-year-old's coat. When we were halfway to school, my 5-year-old son said, "Mom, you forgot your raincoat!"  Yes, we don't worry as much about ourselves, do we?

So back to the soothing sound of rain on the windows. All I could think about was rainy day reading. I could put the baby down for his morning nap and curl up on the couch with my book club book. We have book club tonight, and I'm not finished.  Wouldn't a cup of warm coffee and a book be luxurious?

The book I'm reading, Paris to the Moon by Adam Gopnik, has on its cover a woman and child in the perfect raincoat ensembles walking on a rainy Paris street full of statues and trees. The title is dreamy and romantic, too, but so far, the book is not that dreamy and romantic. It's been hard to sink my teeth into, but it does have some really witty parts.

The problem for me is the writer is more of an essayist than a journalist, and I usually tend toward journalism or memoirs for my nonfiction. His observations are almost too profound, where I need accessible.  For example, the chapter on Paris cafes starts with a comparison between cafe popularity and a late nineteenth century mathematical problem. I really want to be sitting at the cafe with him, not delving into a theory.

But when he talks about the lack of help and customer service in Paris, especially compared to the American model, I really cracked up. Having two close friends living in Paris recently, I have heard their stories (amusing to me all these miles and waters away, but highly frustrating to them) about just this situation. Gopnik says that where in America the customer is always right, in Paris, the customer is always wrong.

"So, for instance," Gopnik writes, "if your clothes dryer breaks down and you want to get the people ... to come fix it, you will be told first, that only one man knows how it works and he cannot be found...; next, that it cannot be fixed for a week because of a store policy...; and, finally, that you are perfectly right to find all this exasperating, but nothing can be done, because it is in the nature of things for a dryer to break down, dryers are like that... 'They are sensitive machines; they are ill-suited to the task; no one has ever made one successfully,' the store bureaucrat in charge of service says, sighing. 'C'est normal.'" (Gopnik, 80)

Turns out, my Paris friend has a dryer story of her own. Three different people came to her apartment over a two-week period with no answers and no fixed dryer.  They would say, "C'est tres bizarre." Then they would ask her if it ever worked. Uh, yes. That's how she knew it was now broken.  Then they would leave her with a broken dryer and two toddlers racing around.  Finally, her upstairs neighbor who spoke great French called and raised the roof until they came to fix the dryer.

She told a similar situation about when she bought her dining room table. She already owned a chic set of chairs she had had made a couple of years before, and now that she was in Paris, what a perfect place to invest in a table!  She found a wonderful table, measured, went home to compare against the chair measurements, and took her husband back to seal the deal. He happened to bring his own American measuring tape to the store (she had used the store's French measuring tape before), and went back to measure while she paid up front.  She remembers the payment in slow motion: Just after she'd signed on the dotted line, her husband came flying up from the back of the store, saying, "The centimeters are different! It doesn't fit!" The store clerk was no help, at least the one who spoke English.

Her husband said, "Can't you just cancel the transaction?"

"No, No," the clerk said in a thick accent, "Eees not like the States."  She seemed convinced that it was their own fault and they should be punished by having a table that won't fit with the chairs. As they tried to work things out and their voices would start getting louder, the clerk would say, "C'est pas grave" ("It's not a big deal.")  My friend says she hears this all the time, and it's usually when things are a very big deal.

Well, the rain has stopped, and it's overcast. I haven't started reading yet, but at least I did some Rainy Day Writing.  I guess this can be my contribution to book club since I haven't finished the book.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Logistics

I just wanted to say thank you for those of you who have signed up to "follow" this blog or have subscribed by email. I love having an outlet for writing and have been so encouraged by your thoughts and comments.

Several of you said you were not able to leave a comment on the blog and so have been sending me email comments.  Also, because some of you receive the posts through email, you are replying to the email to send a comment, and again, I love reading them, but I am the only one who gets to read them! That is totally fine, but I also think your comments could be really encouraging for other people to read, too.

From what I understand, I think you have to have a "Google Account" to leave a comment on the site (but that takes about a minute or less to get).  If you have time, great, but I know that sometimes "one more thing" is one more thing.

In the meantime, I love reading the comments you are sending me alone.

Dehydration

During the blazing hot Texas summers, you have to drink a lot of water.  I have heard that once you are thirsty, you are already starting to get dehydrated and need to drink water to replenish your body's supply.

The other day, I was reading the story of the Woman at the Well in John 4 and thinking about thirst.

"Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst.  Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life" (John 4:13-14).

I have always related this passage to what I thought of as thirst: my need to be satisfied, my desires' need to be quenched. But this time, I saw that my tendencies are not true thirst, but just greed or gluttony or temptation.  Thirst in the literal sense is about water, which our body needs to survive. True thirst is life or death, not whims and fancies, hopes or daydreams.  When we thirst, we are already in need. 

Jesus is talking about our spiritual thirst, which is based on what we need to live.  We are thirsty because our sin has separated us from His perfect glory.  He quenches our thirst once and for all through salvation, offered to us by Jesus' death on the cross, which was the sacrifice needed to restore our relationship with God.  Then He provides a spring within us through the Holy Spirit, eternally quenching our thirst, daily allowing communion with God.

The well in the Samaritan town of John 4 was a gathering place, a vital part of the whole community because everyone needs water.  Even though this woman hoped to avoid people because of her past and current lifestyle, she still came to the well; she had to. She needed water to live.  Once there, she was shocked to meet Jesus and more shocked that he wanted to talk with her and asked her for a drink because "Jews do not associate with Samaritans" (John 4: 9).

I love that, though we may think we need to approach God's throne in a certain way or at a certain time, He meets us at His well any time.  He knows our baggage and speaks truth over us--just as He did with the Samaritan woman and her past and present.  He offers us LIFE, not death. He saves us. He quenches our thirst.   And then He gives us an eternal spring.

I so often come to God, thinking, "Oh, my thirst, my hopes, my dreams, my desires...." He is not condemning my hopes and dreams; He is not invalidating those or saying no. Instead, He is shifting the focus back to the real priority--salvation, living water, eternal life.  I need to have an eternal perspective, not an earthly one.

Daylight Savings and Turkey Feet

On Saturday evening, my husband said, "Daylight Savings...Fall Back..So tomorrow we GAIN an hour; right?"

I looked at him and said, "If you can explain that to the kids, then yes, we will gain an hour.  Before we had kids, yes, we gained an hour."  I don't recall ever gaining an hour in the past five years of Daylight Savings.

Sure enough, Monday morning, everyone was up at 5:45 and ready to get dressed for school.

We were already exhausted from a two-day trip to Dallas, which was a blast, but did not include great sleep only because of children's coughs and midnight wakings and wanderings, disoriented in a new place.

Then on our return, I had to stay up late to cram in an assignment for school on Monday. It seems crazy that I could be cramming at this phase in my life, but I had volunteered to trace and cut about a million paper turkey feathers, turkey necks, and turkey feet.  When I did this, the teacher looked me in the eyes and said, "Are you sure?" I should have known. That was a clear warning, complete with a teacher look, that this was not a good idea. But I was picturing sitting on the couch and catching up on Gray's Anatomy. How easy! How long could it take? It took hours.

Now everyone has coughs, and the baby keeps waking himself up with coughing.  Last night, our 4-year-old was up twice, once with an accident.

We are still looking to gain an hour of sleep.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Library Volunteer

Today I volunteered in the lower school library.  This year, I have started working there every other Tuesday for 30 minutes.  It is such a short time, but I wanted to start small. 

I love libraries.  And a children's library, one geared for the youngest kiddoes, is so inspirational.  The librarians are both wonderful, and I love talking with them and listening to them. It reminds me of the old days, teaching 6th grade English and loving any time I got to hang out in the middle school library.

My 5-year-old son gets to go to the library once a week and check out a book. He did this last year, too, and every afternoon, besides having a new book, he'd have some new facts his librarian/teacher had taught him.  A month ago, he cozied up to me on the couch and said, "Mom, I have a secret for you."

"What?" I asked.

"William Shakespeare," he whispered. Well, he might as well have told me I'd be on the next train to heaven.  I love Shakespeare, and to hear my son say his name... Dreamy.

"Oh? What do you know about him?"

"He wrote movies," he said, seriously, "and he wrote a few plays." I love it.

Last week, he started telling me about Prince Edward abdicating the throne to marry Wallis Simpson.  Last year, he tried to tell me at dinner one night about the "terrasotta soldiers" from China. I had to spend some time on the internet with him to get to the bottom of this mystery, but we finally did find some terraCOTTA soldiers traveling to museums.

His library teacher takes the kids on "journeys" to new countries and different time periods each week, and it is amazing to me what my son retains. What a fun job.

Anyway, back to the library today. I was shelving some books while a third grade class took turns telling ghost stories to each other, and I came across some children's poetry books. There was the usual slew of Jack Prelutsky, but I was reminded of Pat Mora, a Texas poet, and enjoyed flipping through a children's picture book of poetry she wrote.

Just now I looked her up and read a portion of an interview with her (http://poetryforchildren.blogspot.com/2010_11_01_archive.html).

She talked about needing "the stillness to explore" and "creating the quiet to write."

I loved that morsel. I need more stillness and quiet. I need them in order to have the mental space and capacity to explore.  But I also can create more quiet. It's hard, but once little people are asleep (or before they wake up), I can create quiet. Or maybe it's less creating quiet and more carving out quiet (recent pumpkin imagery). "Creating" sounds soft, a nice easy lasso of sound to allow quiet.  In my life these days, quiet doesn't come so easily. I need a more ruthless term to get quiet. Carve out the time. Carve out the quiet. Otherwise, it won't happen.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Grocery Store Outfits

When I was working full-time and went grocery store shopping, I was never happy to be there. It was usually after work, and I was tired and ready to be home and out of work clothes.

Now that I am a stay-at-home mom, I feel like the grocery store is my home-away-from home.  This sentiment may sound cozy and calm, like my trips there are full of waves at the fish man and deli woman, chit chat with the checker. I do enjoy seeing all these people that work there, almost like it's its own small town.

But there is one problem that has arisen. Just as at home I am super comfortable in sweat pants and no makeup, my grocery store trips sometimes get the same treatment.

My increased frequency and time at the grocery store have also impacted the amount of people I run into there. When I was working, even if I looked a little haggard from the end of the day, I at least had remnants of make-up and an outfit that thought had gone into.  I was presentable.

Now, I sometimes see people coming and want to hide behind the pita chip display, cringing at why I hadn't changed before I drove to the store.

Today was one of those days that I put on exercise shorts (a little tight) and a white t-shirt (a little tight), took the baby on a walk, and then realized I needed to race to make it to the store before I picked up my 4-year-old from school.  I had no ounce of makeup on, but I had brushed my teeth and hair. Right before I got out of the car, I put a little lip gloss on, and off I went.

Now, you know that if I had looked cute at all, I would not have seen anyone I knew. But even in this 20 minute trip to the store at 11 a.m., I saw two people I know (neither of them well).

I feel like I am to the point where I need to put some thought into how I look every time I leave the house. I don't think I can get away with the grunge look anymore (wasn't that when I was in college? yikes.)

It seems like someone who is not working full-time outside of the home could manage to get fully dressed (including mascara) before leaving the house. But I can't always make it happen. I have to be efficient with my time while the kids are at school, so sometimes this means going places quickly--like right after the gym or a walk. I can't always go straight to a shower because I may need to make sure we have a meal that night and I know that if I take a tired pre-schooler with me to the store it will not be a good scene. I have to weigh the pros and cons of looking cute at the store.

Maybe this is just a season, and when the kids are a little older, I'll look fabulous at the grocery store.

Or maybe I can find some sort of telephone booth to disappear into and change like Super Woman, emerging ready to conquer the store and dazzle onlookers with my strength and dignity.

Maybe I should lean into this verse a little more and just not worry about it: "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised" (Prov. 31:30)

Friday, October 29, 2010

The Party

It went well! It was really fun and not stressful. We did not even have a babysitter to watch the kids so we could be host and hostess. That's how low key it was once it started. We had about 30 people from 4-6:30, the weather was amazing so we stayed mainly outside. It was happy and good.

The food prep was almost all finished yesterday--a must since this morning I had an appointment and then the school Halloween parties to attend. Thanks to some friends' emails of recipes at the beginning of the week, I finalized the menu Wednesday, and my sweet husband went to the store that night to get all the fixins.

With wonderful weather finally, our plan was to have food inside and drinks outside (the dining room opens onto the patio, so we could just keep the door open). I basically drew a map of my dining room table and had plates and napkins in the middle on both sides. Then I had sweet stuff on one side, and salty stuff on the other. Because the party was 4-6:30, it was a snackfest instead of a meal. BUT this group can eat, and I have got to learn this fact. Every time, we cut it close with food.

The food was a mix of easy and a little thought/time. Sweet: Gingersnaps with Pumpkin Dip, Caramel Apple Dip with apples and pretzels, Pumpkin Bread and Pumpkin Bread mini muffins, candy corn and candy sours (happy color on the table)! Salty: Mexican Pinwheels, Chips and Guacamole and Salsa, Cheese plate with crackers, Cashews.

The table centerpiece turned out cute, too, and was very low stress (took about 10 minutes to pull together). I had planned to get some flowers and berries to intersperse, but I ran out of time. Instead, we had a fall plant that I put into a tureen. Candlesticks and various votives. And lots of gourds and pumpkins and a few little Halloween decor items (stuffed witch, two stuffed pumpkins).

Finding all the serving pieces took a little more time, but thanks to my 4-year-old helper, we got it together. She created a "pattern" (thank you, Montessori education) of sticky note colors, and as I labeled the notes, she would stick them on the serving piece. All the serving pieces were shades of green or fallish yellow.

While we worked on the table, my husband was gussying up the yard. He took a half day today so he could finish mowing, edging, and all the yard work he does so well. Our drink table had pumpkins and galvanized tubs of ice with the drinks. Plus on the pation, a cool stainless steel cooler that my parents gave hubbie as a gift one Christmas (and stainless trashcan for trash!).

At 2:25, the baby woke up from his nap, which reminded me I needed to pick up my 5-year-old from school. When we got back at 2:40, my baby had an unusually long snack time in his high chair so I could keep working.

Hubbie finished his part at 3:45 and jumped in the shower. I finished about the same time and got the baby changed and handed him to my husband just as the first guests arrived (early! is that necessary?). Then I changed into my duds and could join the party. Except for a few times of replenishing the food, we could relax and enjoy the party.

Loved it. Thanks for the help many of you gave me.

And mom, sorry. I loved the idea of using carved-out gourds and pumpkins as serving dishes, but it sounded better on Tuesday than it did today when I was running late. And MK, the idea of using carved-out pumpkins as vases also sounded amazing on Monday, but today, it sounded a little hard to pull off. Maybe when the kids are older! For now, it's all good enough!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Busy Busy Holidays

Everyone is busy these days, ramping up preparations for the holidays. Carving pumpkins; hanging webs, spiders, and ghosts on the houses and trees; getting costumes and candy ready; hosting parties or attending them. And people are already buzzing with plans for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Meal plans, gift giving, cards to send, travel plans.

This time of year kicks off a season of insanity. Just writing about it is getting my adrenaline going, making me want to make a list and check it twice.

The truth is, even though we have this party tomorrow at our house, I find myself looking past it to all the other things that need to get done, too. Somehow, I ordered our Christmas cards this week. Good! But what about getting my house organized and decorated and food prepared for tomorrow?

Well, thanks to friends who sent me some festive recipes, I now have a "menu" for the party. I also have the groceries. Today I have to get busy with cooking.

I decided I needed to read a little reminder about busy-ness, and I thought of Mary and Martha. Martha opened her home to Jesus. Her sister Mary, "sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made." She started complaining to Him that it wasn't fair and He should make Mary get up and help. Jesus said, "'Martha, Martha,... you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her" (Luke 10: 38-42).

Martha was doing what had to be done, but she lost her focus. Jesus was gentle in His reminder; He re-focused her heart.

I want to create a warm, festive atmosphere at our party, but I don't want to be stressed. When I put the world's perfectionist pressure on myself, I get stressed. I then get impatient with my kids and race around. Because my mom and grandmother are amazing hostesses, I put pressure and expectations on myself to perform this high level of hospitality. But I need to choose what is better, the one thing, and keep my eyes there while completing what has to be done.

Hmmm... I'd better get busy. Busy in a focused way? Might need some people to pray for me!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

House Daydreams

Since we got married 7 1/2 years ago, we have lived in 4 different houses, 2 different states, 3 different cities. That is not including the 2 summers (2 different apartments) in New York City. I have really sweet nesting memories in each place.

We have lived in this house for 3 1/2 years, a record by far. We have loved this house, but it has been a transition since we moved from a larger house in a different state where the housing prices were lower. Since it is smaller AND our family has grown, we sometimes daydream about adding on or moving.

Not so easy though. We bought this house at the top of the housing market... just before the economy went south (thanks in large part to that fabulous high housing market). The moves before--despite our short stays in the homes--we sold our houses quickly and made money on the sales. With the housing market's fall, we have needed to change our expectations about the ease of moving.

A year and half ago we listed our house when we knew we were expecting baby #3 and weren't sure where he was going to fit. After a few weeks, we decided the timing wasn't good and we would make it work here. Necessity is the mother of invention, and boy did we get creative with our storage. Thank you, Container Store. Thank you, storage unit.

Since the bedrooms were going to need to accomodate another person and crib, there wouldn't be space for toys. So, we turned a storage room attached to our garage into a playroom. We added indoor/outdoor carpet, paint, shelves, and a window unit for A.C. Since the boys share a room and wouldn't have space for more drawers in their room, we had their closet maximized with shelves, drawers, and only a little short hanging space (little boys don't have much to hang up!). We then put the rocker in our room. We also added a storage bench and shelf with hooks and baskets in our kitchen to try to make a little "mudroom" area for school bags, shoes, etc. And we added drawers to our pantry to make it more user friendly. We did a few other closet-enhancing strategies, and voila! We were set.

We still are set is the bottom line.

But every now and then, I still look around at houses and daydream about a little more space. Sometimes I chastise myself for that. We are so blessed; how can I want more? Other times I just think it's fun to creatively imagine other spaces and homes and how one would make that work.

Today, I was looking for this passage to help me get my mind right before the Lord: "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things" (Philippians 4: 8)

This reminded me that it's not necessarily wrong to daydream about a house (as long as I'm not coveting it and ungrateful for what I have and neglecting other things in my life that are true and truly my responsibility).

But I also read the part right above: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4: 6-7).

How sweet that I just don't need to worry about this. I can pray about it, be thankful, present my requests, and have God's peace guard me.

I'm feeling peaceful about our home.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Halloween Hospitality

I have several friends that have the gift of hospitality, and I love how they inspire me in different ways.

One is always an open door, even having people over for Sunday lunches and mid-week dinners, both times I tend to think of as too complicated. I have even dropped by when each of her four kids has a friend over for dinner and her husband is out of town. The kids are piled around the dining room table, saying grace, and passing around the chicken nuggets and other of their favorites goodies. She inspires me to spend more time on the asking and welcoming and less time on the fretting about the details (though the details are always taken care of, too). Her focus is clearly on people.

Another friend is wonderful about setting an occasion. She comes up with a brunch to meet parents in a new class or a dessert to swap recipe ideas. She even makes an impromptu lunch at her house into a time you feel you've gone out to lunch--sitting in the dining room with a beautiful table set. She inspires me to be creative and not wait for a certain time to entertain. She is clearly having fun.

These are friends in the same town whom I see often; but another friend in Paris is an amazing hostess as well. She threw another Texas ex-pat a baby shower at a Mexican restaurant in Paris. She threw a going away party with a U.S. flag tablecloth, personalized quotes at each place. Plus, I've eaten lots of her food, and she's an incredible cook. The details. Oh, the details. She's pretty Martha Stewartish. It could be intimidating except that she (and her husband) are so cute and loving and truly have in their hearts to cherish the people they are celebrating. It's an amazing gift. When another friend and I visited them in their old home of the Cayman Islands (no, I'm not making this up), her husband greeted us with Mojitos, and she made Key Lime Pie (among other delicacies).  She inspires me to strive for excellence.

We are having a party on Friday for my husband's colleagues and their families. Between passing around the stomach bug in our family and being out of town, I've done nada for the party. I'm trying to get my creative juices going here by reflecting on my friends' talents. I'm open to ideas.

Repetition for Emphasis

How often do we remind our children to use nice manners? How often do we reinforce their positive behavior to prompt them to continue? And how often do we say, "I love you," to make sure they can have no doubt of our feelings for them?

Repetition as a tool in parenting is not a new thing. Repetition is not new in teaching, and it's not new in writing or art.

As I learned in a design class in college, repetition is a principle of design. An element repeated throughout a design can aid its structure or provide a pattern.

As a former English teacher with a special love for poetry, I can't help noticing the design of poems, and the design of Psalm 107 is a great study of form. (What also makes this Psalm relevant to this blog is that it was written as a celebration of the Jews' return from their exile in Babylon; I'm not a Biblical scholar, but I'm thinking this is what I've written about with Jeremiah 29. Please correct me if I'm wrong!)

The Psalm has four sections, as well as an introduction and conclusion. Each section contains the repetition of two different verses--the major themes of the Psalm. But all around the repetition are the gritty and gorgeous details of specific stories of God's grace.

The repetition:
"Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress" ...
"Let them give thanks to the Lord for His unfailing love
and His wonderful deeds for men"

These strong themes of the Lord's deliverance, unfailing love, and wonderful deeds for men are evident time and time again.
But within the repetition are the sweet specifics of WHO cried out and was delivered:
--some wandered in desert wastelands, finding no way to a city where they could settle; they were hungry and thirsty
--some sat in darkness and the deepest gloom, prisoners suffering in iron chains
--some suffered affliction because of their rebellion
--some were lost at sea in a storm
Somewhere in these lost faces are people that look just like us.

And after we see the needs, we witness the boldness of the Lord's response with His wonderful deeds:
--He led them by a straight way to a city where they could settle. ... He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.
--He brought them out of darkness and deepest gloom and broke their chains
--He sent forth His word and healed them; He rescued them from the grave.
--He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. ... He guided them to their desired haven.

I love that we have a God of repetition. I love that we have a God with new mercies every morning and for every need.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

A Listening Ear

The last few weeks in Bible Study, one of the teachers has been opening our time together with "listening prayer." She plays a song while we close our eyes and try to still our thoughts and listen.

I first thought about listening during prayer in high school after reading an entry in the devotional Streams in the Desert. It talked about how our tendency in prayer is to talk, talk, talk, ask, ask, ask, but not listen. If prayer is our time with God, we usually are pretty one-sided. We might think of reading Scripture as our time to listen, but I am challenged to be more open to listening during my prayer time.

"He wakens me morning by morning,
wakens my ear to listen like one being taught.
The Sovereign Lord has opened my ears,
and I have not been rebellious;
I have not drawn back" (Isaiah 50:4-5)

Reading to the Baby

This morning I read two stories to our 11-month-old while we rocked in our cushy white glider. I try to read at least one book to him each day, and this morning he was being so still and watchful while I read that I went on to the second book.

I had gotten these particular books at the library when I last took my 4- and 5-year-olds to replenish their supply. That trip was the first time I checked books out for the baby. We have so many well-worn board books at home that I usually grab those from the shelf, but it was nice to change it up.

I think from the age of 10 months to 2 it is sometimes hard time to find the perfect book to grab a little one's attention. At that age, they love to eat books and rip books and occasionally flip pages and look at pictures and bang on the covers. But actually engage in the story?

A few that are tried and true in our family are, of course, Goodnight Moon and Brown Bear, Brown Bear, but also Dear, Zoo. In fact, I need to get new copies for the latter two because ours are really disgusting by now and probably a health hazard for a teething baby.

I'd love to hear other recommendations for baby books! The holidays are coming (and my baby's first birthday! Say it isn't so...)!





Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Eat, Build and Pray

This morning, I heard a talk that referenced Jeremiah 29:11, the verse I had referred to in my last post. Since this had come up twice in five days, I thought I should open my Bible to that passage and look at it again.

This little verse--"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future'"--is actually part of a letter the prophet Jeremiah sent from Jerusalem to God's people in exile in Babylon. This fact immediately adds depth to God's promise of hope. His people have been taken captive and carried in exile away from home. Yet, as reminded in the book of Ruth (written about in the post "Not the End of the Story" ), God doesn't quit in the middle of the hard part. He pushes us through to the other side.

Before Jeremiah 29:11, the letter gives specific purpose and plans for what God's people should do DURING the exile. He does not say to sit and wait for something to happen; He says to get busy! Dig in! Bloom where you're planted! He specifically tells them that during these 70 years of exile, they should build houses, settle down, plant gardens and eat what they produce, marry, have kids, increase in number, "seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper" (Jer. 29:5-7).

Reading this passage, I am thinking of the several times I have moved to new cities and thinking of all the friends and family who have moved to new cities. It is not easy.

I am also reminded of the more figurative move we make when we go from one season of our lives to another, whether from being single to getting married, having children, starting a new job, experiencing a death. These seasons could all feel like an exile from our comfort zone to a strange new land that we didn't necessarily sign up to visit.

I love the promises of Jeremiah 29:11--that God knows the plans for us, for our future, for hope.

But I also love the wise instruction of Jeremiah 29:5-7 for where we are NOW in life, not the unknown of the future.
--Build
--Settle
--Plant
--Eat
--Seek peace and prosperity
--Pray

How can I do each of these things right here where I am today? In my life, in my family, in my home, in my city...

Thursday, October 14, 2010

20th Reunion

My 20th high school reunion is this weekend. I'm excited to see friends I've kept up with but don't often see, and I'm excited to see those I haven't seen in 20 years! I also think it will be fun that a couple of the events include our children.

The usual conversation is going back-and-forth among friends: what are you going to wear? And I know I need to spend some time packing today for all of us! Packing for four (my husband has to do his own) is definitely a time-consuming process, especially if we are supposed to look cute all weekend!

When I graduated from high school in 1990, a friend's mother gave several of us little white monogrammed pillows to take with us to college. The monogram read "Jer. 29:11."

I did not know the verse and went home to look it up.

"'For I know the plans I have for you,'declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future'" (Jeremiah 29:11).

I love that The Word is living and active, that this scripture holds true today as it did 20 years ago.

Some friends may not be in a place they wanted to be at their reunion--whether because of a few more wrinkles, no time for highlights, extra baby weight, or more serious issues like divorce or job loss. But that does not mean the Lord doesn't have plans for a hope and a future for them (and me).

I also think of the friends that I wish would be there that won't. One in particular makes me cry right this second. My sweet friend Elizabeth passed away from breast cancer the summer my first baby was born, 5 years ago. I still ache, thinking of her. I am thankful for her life and the ways she taught me--both in middle school, high school and beyond. I am thankful she is with the Lord and that my hope and future with her is still to come.

Who knows what the weekend will bring? But the Lord knows the plans He has for us.

Quick Easy Kid Crafts

It's always helpful to have a few crafts at your disposal when you have kids at home. We are lucky to have an office that is part adult, part kid, part dog. It's the most disorganized room in the house and usually looks like a colorful pit of artwork, stacks of paper, and random toys that toddled in and were deposited. The dog's crate in the corner has become the "drying rack" for paintings and gluey pictures.

Like most, I keep a lot of supplies on hand: the usual paints (dot paints are my favorite), dry erase pens and pages, crayons, colored pencils, markers, stickers, stamps, glitter and glitter glue (not my fave to deal with), construction paper, white paper, glue, coloring books, activity books, index cards, scissors, tape.

We also have a few items to pull out for special projects: pre-cut cardboard shapes (like pirate ships or flowers) to decorate, beads and string, Perler Beads, Mosaic art, and a newly received gift of Rub Art.

But a few projects sprout up in the moment. Here are some you might enjoy.

1. Leaf Man-- You can read the book Leaf Man by Lois Ehlert. Then get a paper bag (decorated or not) to go outside for a leaf hunt (and sticks and berries and nuts). Then go inside and get construction paper and glue to make a leaf man. If you don't have the book, just make a collage person out of what you find in your yard.



2. Hanger Fan-- Get a wire hanger that has paper on the outside. Fold the wire handle in so it's not sharp. Use dot paint or other paint to cover the white paper. After it dries, add marker, stickers, glitter, or whatever else to decorate this "fan."

3. Cloud Art-- Go outside and lay in the grass. Stare at the clouds and notice what shapes they look like. Then go back inside and glue cotton balls into shapes like the clouds.

Anyone else have some fun, fast ideas?

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

My Good Things

Sometimes I struggle with wanting to define my place in the world. I am probably trying to be in control, take the reins of life and know definitively--"this is my role; this is who I am; this is where we live and will put down roots." Sometimes I extend this into a desire to tell the future--"where will we be in 10 years? are we having any more children? will I go back to work one day? when? and what will I be doing?"

I have come back to Psalm 16 twice this week, and it has been sweet to me. I see so many nuggets in it, but I will focus on one aspect today.

"'You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing. ...
Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;
you have made my lot secure.
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
surely I have a delightful inheritance" (Psalm 16: 2, 5-6).

What is my assigned portion? What assignment has God given to me personally at this point in time? Apart from Him, I have NO good thing. So, no point in striving after things of this world, things that are apart from Him. The portion He has assigned to me has also been put in my lot. He's made my lot secure. He's drawn a boundary around where I need to be right now... these pleasant places... a delightful inheritance!

It helped me today to ask: what is my assigned portion? I came up with this short list: home (and I'm lumping husband in with this!), children, and writing.

I think this question is a good one to ask at different seasons in life. God is so personal with us, so individual, that He can reveal our sometimes shifting portions in their time. I want to sit still and relish the security of being where He has me.

"Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure" (Psalm 16: 9).

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Daughter of a King

I am amazed at how much little girls love the idea of a princess. The pink, the purple, the glitter, the gown, the crown. Dressing up, whether for Halloween or just because it's a Thursday after lunchtime, is such fun for my little girl. I love that once she's in costume, she behaves differently. She walks tall, and she often twirls, morphing into a ballerina princess.

The past couple of days, I have thought several times about my identity as a daughter--not the daughter of my parents, but the daughter of The King.

"Those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, 'Abba, Father.' The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs--heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ" (Romans 8:14-17).

What does this sonship, or daughtership in my case, mean? What does being an heir to the King mean?

I do not have to prove myself to anyone. I am the daughter of the King. I do not have to earn my worth. I am the daughter of the King. I do not have to strive for the things of this world. I am the daughter of the King. I can walk tall and feel beautiful. I am the daughter of the King. I can be bold and not fearful. I am protected, the daughter of the King. I am provided for. I am the daughter of the King.

What will I do differently today, knowing that I am the daughter of the King?

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Working with my Hands

My grandmother taught me to needlepoint one summer. When a friend and I visited her for a week, she took us to a needlepoint store and helped us each pick out a canvas--mine was a vibrant 80s patterned heart. We sat on her sectional with our colorful yarns and talked and stitched. You'd have thought we were matrons, but we were in elementary school.

The sectional is now in my family room, and I haven't needlepointed in years. But I have started knitting in the past few years.

A former student taught me how to knit while I was trying to teach her High School English. I was pregnant and thought a colorful scarf was just the thing to make me feel like a new mommy.

Three years and two moves later, I finished the scarf and gave it to my sister-in-law. I have now multiplied my scarf output and have added washcloths to my repertoire. I learned how to do a hat, but it didn't stick. I'll try again though.

There is something so relaxing about knitting, really any sewing by hand (I am trying to glamourize hemming because I need to go fix a hem in my little girl's dress). You get in a rhythm and can talk or watch T.V. but still feel creative and productive. Another perk of your hands' being busy: you don't snack as much!

Right before my recommitment to knitting, I was going through my usual restlessness about being a stay-at-home mom. I was reading Proverbs 31 again and recognizing all the many talents of this woman who works and manages her home so stunningly well. One verse caught my eye:

"She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands" (Prov. 31: 13).

Hmmm.... Such a still and quiet habit for such a busy woman. She is working hard from morning dark to evening dark, and not only does she keep her household and family in order, but she also does great business--buying real estate, planting a vineyard, trading, and selling the garments she makes. Of course, this woman of noble character is also godly and wise. She's the ultimate super mom.

But I like thinking of her in the quiet moments, working with her hands. Maybe it's dark outside. Maybe she's cooking or sewing, but she's being creative.

Being a mom is often about everyone else and not about ourselves. Finding a creative outlet is to me vital to staying energized.

How do we make time for creativity in our lives? In what ways do we make time to work with our hands?

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Not the End of the Story

I was just reading the beginning of the Biblical story of Ruth. I have never read it in portions before because it is a short book. But today I stopped when Naomi, Ruth's mother-in-law, is at her low point. She is living in a foreign country in the middle of a famine; she has lost her husband; and now she has lost both sons. She has no family to lean on except for two daughters-in-law she now feels responsible for. How can she take care of them when she can't even take care of herself? She tells them they should return home to their parents.

I cannot imagine how hopeless she must feel. Alone. Fearful. Grieving to the point of despair.

But that is not the end of the story. I know that because I've read it before. I know she is not alone. I know God blesses her and takes care of her in ways she could not have imagined. What she saw before her was a dead end, but that was not the end of the story.

How often we are in the midst of a trial and cannot see past the muddy pit we are sitting in. We cannot see that this is not the end of the story.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)

"Therefore we do not lose heart.... We fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen in eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:16, 18)

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." (Ephesians 3:20-21).

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

The Refresh Button

I like how webpages have a "refresh" button. I was following a newsstory yesterday as it was unfolding, and I could refresh the page to see when new facts had been added to the story.

I am needing to be refreshed today. I need a button to push that will start this page over and give an updated version. What would the updated version be like? New gripes and whines in the leading paragraph? Or maybe a new grudge or bitter taste about a personal interaction with someone?

I would like for the refresh button to actually refresh, not just add new data. I would like it to tell a better story, not a more tragic one.

Today at Bible study, someone asked whom we are listening to: our Father in Heaven? Or the Father of Lies? I want my refresh button to be a re-focusing on the truth that comes from my Father in Heaven. I do not want to add misinformation and lies to my story. I do not want to add worries and fears or complaints and criticisms. I want to be refreshed, which according to my Bible dictionary, also means renewed, revived, restored.

For me, the refresh button has got to be getting into the Word of God. I need to see truth written in Scripture. I need my mind to be renewed in order to revive my heart and restore my spirit.

"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." (Philippians 4:8-9)

What am I dwelling on? What am I putting into practice? Am I feeling His peace?

What are other ways to be refreshed?

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Eve

I just started a new Bible study yesterday that is studying John MacArthur's book Twelve Extraordinary Women. The book examines the lives of twelve women from the Bible. The first chapter focuses on Eve.

Our main small-group discussion question yesterday was: "Which tree are we eating from? The tree of life? Or the tree of the knowledge of good and evil?" We each talked about what it means to eat from the tree of life--being still with God, prayer, authenticity in Christian relationships, reading scripture. We also talked about our struggles to not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil--the world's lies that we listen to, the focus on appearance, the gossip, the materialism, the fears and stresses. I am glad to be reminded of this discussion today.

This morning I was finishing up my chapter reading (better late than never!), and I realized something about Eve that I hadn't focused on before now. I have always focused on Eve's temptation, her sin, her fall, her curse.

But God provided hope even in the midst of this fallen world. Eve was still allowed to bear children, and through her son Seth, a godly line was established: "Then men began to call on the name of the Lord." (Gen. 4:26)

MacArthur writes: "After all, heaven will be filled with her redeemed offspring" (26).

That is so like the Lord. There is redemption in Eve, not only sin. There is hope even when it seems all is lost.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Parent Coffee

Yesterday morning was a parent coffee at my children's Montessori school. The administrators had brought in a prominent local psychologist who focused on development in 2- to 5-year-olds.  Halfway through the talk, I started scribbling notes.

A few nuggets:
  • With some mothers working and some staying at home, we have begun viewing our kids as products, indicators that "we made the right call" in our choice to work or stay home.  (My reflection: Am I thinking of my child as a product? In what ways do I buy into our society's pressure to "produce" certain traits in my child?)
  • We put pressure on our kids by pushing early reading, by putting them in team sports before ages 7-8, by overstructuring their lives, by telling them they are so smart all the time. (My reflection:  Am I allowing my kids to just fall in love with reading? I feel like I do a pretty good job of not overly structuring, but I don't know because it's so prevalent.  I want to write more about the smart thing because I'm reading a book right now that mentioned the same thing. I'll try to get to that tomorrow!)
  • We must let our kids play.  They need self-structured play.  (My reflection: I love watching my kids come up with the most random "games." Last night, I went to get my pajamas and found that my closet had been transformed into a pink play hut full of pink blankets and random pink items from my daughter's room.  There was another pink quilt spread on the floor between some pillows near our bed.  I can only imagine what this other room was!) (Interestingly, she also said yesterday that we have a generation of boys who do not know how to play together because they sit side-by-side and play video games! Yikes!)
  • Our children should be spending no more than an hour on electronics each day.  (My reflection: I have to admit I was thankful she didn't completely poo poo T.V.  But I found it helpful to have that guideline that, to me, was a little more realistic than NO T.V.)
  • Be careful what our children are exposed to.  (My reflection: I think I do this, but I didn't even think about it before I had kids. She talked about how inappropriate the news is and how much violence our kids are exposed to, even when we think they aren't paying attention. I do think having a DVR is helpful with kids because you can record appropriate things, don't have to have commercials, etc.)
  • Beware of the intrusion of cell phones and the computer into our families.  (My reflection: I try to make a point of getting off the phone when I'm picking up my kids from school so I can hear about their day. But I know I am guilty of being distracted by email when they want my attention. How can we limit this? )
I thought her talk was so interesting and offered great guidelines in this mommy adventure.  How can we integrate these ideas into our lives?

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Choking Hazard

Before the baby was even born, I was trying to instill in my older children to watch out for small things on the ground. "The baby could choke on that!" Now that he's at the age of crawling (racing) around the house and putting everything in his mouth, we are all vigilant. Still, we find things in his mouth: stickers, old cheerios, a pebble, a screw, random dirt particles and dust bunnies.

Twice when I've buckled him into his carseat after picking him up from the nursery at the gym, I've found things in his mouth (a sticker and a piece of a foam craft project).

The worst was Sunday. When I picked him up from the church nursery, the woman told me another worker was picking him up to change his diaper. When she laid him on the changing table, he started choking. The worker panicked, and the woman telling me about the incident raced over and stuck her fingers back in his throat and pulled out a piece of wood.

I was dumbfounded taking this in, alternately wanting to comfort the women working there and holding back my tears of fear as it sank in what could have happened. My husband kept reminding me, "He is OK. Anything can happen. This is why we have to pray for protection of our children."

I have since talked to two church administrators to make sure they were aware of the situation, and both were. The church is taking measures to beef up prevention, which is comforting, but I am still fearful.

Today I was following him around our house, stepping up my own vigilance, and do you know what? He was standing two feet from me and I'd been watching him constantly when I heard the choking noise. I jumped up and felt to the back of the throat, where I found a twig.

I immediately put him in the highchair so I could regroup.

I realized all I can do is pray. I cannot watch over him every second. I can continue to work on prevention (and I have several ideas for the moments when I have to turn my back, cook dinner, help another child), but his whole life, I cannot catch every detail. And even if I could, I could put him in someone else's charge for even an hour, and something could happen.

I remembered that a friend had called Friday to ask about getting together to pray for our children. Having children requires so much trust in the Lord. It's a constant walk forward, dodging fears, hoping for miracles.

How can I not get together to pray for my children? She was talking about a Moms in Touch group, which I know a little about and want to learn more. I also told her about a prayer group I had been in before having kids and before getting married. And I mentioned the books that have been great prayer resources for me, Power of a Praying Parent and Power of a Praying Wife by Stormy O'Martian. I called my friend back today and said, "Yes." We don't know yet what this time will look like. But we are working on it.

When We Mess Up

Funny that I wrote earlier about my kids' making messes, literal or otherwise. What about when we are the ones who mess up?

This evening we were making pizzas for our dinner. I had set out the dough and bowls of sauce, cheese, and toppings on the kitchen island, and my 3- and 5-year-olds were sitting in stools to create their own pizzas. As soon as they finished, my 5-year-old, getting tired and slap happy, got down off the stool and knocked it over backwards while pulling on my daughter's stool. I whirled around when I heard the loud bang of the stool's falling, and when I saw his rough behavior with my daughter's stool, too, I shouted, "Not smart." I then explained that the 3-year-old could fall, it was dangerous, etc. Everyone switched gears and left the kitchen while the pizzas were in the oven.

About 30 minutes later, it dawned on me that my son might have interpreted "not smart" in a different way than I intended it. I called him in and talked to him about it. I asked if he thought I was saying he was not smart. He did. I told him I was not saying that. I held his face in my hands and knelt down on the floor to be at his level. I looked him in the eye and told him he is very smart. I then explained what I had meant before, that the action was not smart because one stool had already fallen and the other one could have fallen with his sister in it. I asked how he had felt when he thought I was saying he wasn't smart. He said it hurt his feelings. I said I did not want to hurt his feelings and said I was sorry and asked if he'd forgive me. He said in his sweet clear honest precious baby boy voice, "I forgive you." I said I want to make sure that you hear me telling you how smart you are.

I kept reiterating tonight in every example of smart things he was doing. I read somewhere that for every negative thing you hear, it takes like a million (can't remember exact number) positive things to counteract the negative. Ugh.

I feel like all I can do is pray and ask that God will cover over my son with His grace and protect him from all the ways I have messed up. I wonder what I else I have said that I haven't reflected upon or corrected or asked forgiveness.

Am I careful with my words? Am I wise with my words?

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (Ephesians 4:29)

Monday, September 13, 2010

Humor Keeps Us Sane

A friend with four kids wisely told me early in my parenting career, "I can either take a picture of it [the mess her kids had just created], or I can start crying." Though I am often tempted to cry over the creative messes my kids make, I try to remember her wisdom: I can either laugh or cry. Makes a world of difference in my response to their behavior.

So, I'm taking a snapshot of a scene at Office Max from a few weeks ago. Crowded with back-to-school shoppers, the store was bustling. I popped the baby in the cart and had the three- and five-year-olds on and off the cart, taking rides, grabbing brightly colored pens, boxes, everything they saw, and begging, "Please can we get this...?" No, we don't need this. No, we don't need that. Put it on your wish list.

The whole quest was to find highlighters so we could practice handwriting at home. My kids' teachers write with a highlighter and let the kids trace with their pencils; I thought, great idea. When we got to the crowded highlighter section, weaving our cart through the masses, my five-year-old suddenly shouts, "I need to go poop!"

My eyes bulged as I scanned the crowd and shushed him. "What?" he says, "I need to go." I grab highlighters and race to the front of the store to stand in line. Once there, the pooper immediately lapses into make-believe as he spots a small fridge stocked with drinks. Looking at my three-year-old, he says, "Do you want to play like I'm the drink man?" She does, of course, and I hear him telling her he even has beer for her! I look at the check-out guy in horror as he stifles a grin, and I start to hand him our stuff. But then I have to keep holding the items while he scans them because almost all our supplies are covered in slobber. Slobbering had been the baby's activity so as not to get restless while shopping. I kept handing him items to chew on.

Finally we escaped with our slobbered-on highlighters, our drink man who serves beer to a three-year-old, and our pooper.

A day in the life. If we didn't laugh, we'd scream!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Stilling the Soul

Don't you LOVE this?

"My heart is not proud, O Lord,
my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me.
But I have stilled and quieted my soul." (Psalm 131:1-2)

I feel small today. Reading this passage reminds me of the humility that comes with motherhood.

Sometimes the humility is from external sources (as in HUMILIATING when your child is racing away from you in a public place yelling, "I WON'T go with you!")

Sometimes it is internal (as when you might feel you aren't contributing much to society).

Sometimes it is because you are in the right posture, your heart kneeling to God's throne.

I want to think more about this passage today: how to still and quiet my soul.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

A Day of Rest

Sunday could have been our day of rest, but we were out of town for Labor Day Weekend. Monday--Labor Day holiday--could have been our day of rest, but we were traveling back in town, unpacking, getting ready for a new busy week. As fun as it was, Labor Day weekend left me exhausted.

This year, it seems that I'm in a rhythm of Wednesday being a slow day, a restorative day. Because of school schedules and nap schedules, I have a little more time to myself on Wednesdays, a little more time to reflect.

I love that my life is set up in a series of slow-downs and speed-ups. Routines and schedules vs. free-time and spontaneity. The busy school year feeds into the laziness of summer. Scheduled "work weeks" bring on looser-paced weekends.

We need both. We need productivity, and we need stillness.

The speeding up is easy; but the slowing down actually takes work. How can we cultivate a time of stillness in our lives?

This morning at Bible study, a woman talked about how at one point in her life she told God she was exhausted from all the activities of being a Christian. She said she just wanted to know Him. She talked about the freedom that has come from that shift inside of her, the shift from constant doing to just the knowing.

The whisper inside me said: Stop doing. Be.

I'm not sure how to stop doing and stop the meaningless striving. But it is exhausting. I'd like to just Be. Be still. Be still and know.

"Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10)

Friday, September 3, 2010

Montessori Skills

Today my daughter's teacher sent home the first weekly communication chart of the school year. She also sent a letter explaining that the chart is not a progress report but a tool for engagement with our pre-school child about his/her week at school.

A part of her letter I particularly liked was the section on social/emotional skills. She underscored the importance of the following skills: "cooperation, self-control, confidence, independence, curiosity, empathy, and communication."

I re-read this sentence several times. I often think the skills I need to be accentuating at home are language and math skills (and nature and art) through various activities. But these significant social skills make me pause.

--Cooperation (Ummmm...do I hear another sibling argument in the background?)
--self-control (Ummm..."OK, have another snack" and maybe they'll stop complaining)
--confidence (this is a tricky one. I would really like to hear ideas on nurturing confidence)
--independence (getting better, but it took me a long time to let my kids pour their own drink!)
--curiosity (I think I'm better at this)
--empathy (how can we promote this other than talking about and role-playing?)
--communication (this is one reason I love the dinner table, driving my kids home from school, and bed-time cuddles).

I want to keep thinking about these areas of development. Any ideas?

Thursday, September 2, 2010

A blog I like

A friend sent me a blog called Small Notebook last spring, and I subscribe to it now. It comes here and there, and I look forward to it because it's short and sweet and helpful.

The woman who writes it is a stay-at-home mother of two. This family of four lives in a two-bedroom apartment with a motto of simplify. I like it.

Her ideas are helpful when you are trying to maximize space and time. She has good reminders about simple priorities and not getting swept up in the world's "priorities."

Do you know any other blogs to recommend? Not that we want too many! We need to simplify!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

De-Cluttering

When I was first married and had a new baby, I was struck by the fact that I really didn't know how to clean my house. A friend told me about a resource called www.flylady.net. The premise is to help those of us who often feel overwhelmed by chores and To Do lists to simply jump in a little at a time. I can sometimes spend hours on a plan of attack, but then lose steam for the actual doing of the task. Anyway, flylady breaks it down for you. She helped me for a while. The problem is she can really clog up your email if you let her, so I began deleting her whenever I saw her. I've deleted her for the past few years.

But the other day, for some reason she reached my inbox instead of my spam box (I had relegated her to spam). I decided to read her again, and she kicked me in the rear. I've decided to give her a try again, and this morning, I had made all the beds, re-cleaned the kitchen, done laundry, fed kids (and gotten them out the door) all by 8:15. Once I put the baby down for a nap, I could enjoy my own breakfast and a quiet time.

I read this: "Free me from the trap that is set for me, for you are my refuge. Into your hands I commit my spirit; redeem me, O Lord, the God of truth. I hate those who cling to worthless idols; I trust in the Lord. ... You have not handed me over to the enemy but have set my feet in a spacious place." (Psalm 31: 4-8)

I felt the contrast between the tightness of the trap and the freedom of the spacious place. I listed some of the traps that are set for me, traps for my time, traps for my mind. I do not want to fall into those traps. And when I do, I need God to free me and set my feet in a spacious place.

The tidy home, the de-cluttering of all that is around me (part of the flylady's mantra) does help with the spacious place. My home, my body, my mind are all reflections of where I am. Am I trapped right now? Am I free? These reflections will materialize in different ways for different people at different seasons of our lives. But we know if we're in a trap and need help getting out to our spacious place.

I feel like my mind has been so cluttered lately with worries and daydreams and unorganized "To Do's." I feel ready to escape the traps of the computer, the traps of my postponing excuses, the traps of my weak self-control, the traps of my lack of trust in the Lord's provision and taking matters into my own hands...

"Free me from the trap that is set for me.... You have not handed me over to the enemy but have set my feet in a spacious place."

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Working Mom

After working full-time for 11 years before staying home with a baby, I struggled with being a stay-at-home mom. I struggled with my lack of accomplishments, my lack of control over my day, my lack of kudos from colleagues or supervisors. It took three years before I felt like I got into a groove--some very part-time work, a little pre-school for the kids, a few structured activities for me.

Even so, I sometimes lust after a little more work outside the home. It is nice to have that sense of independence and stimulation. Nice to feel like I am adding some money to the family (though I love what a mentor told me--"there are two ways to add money in a family, income and SAVINGS." I am saving by being at home). But I confess, part of it for me is the desire to be recognized and valued as a smart, creative thinker. As wonderful and encouraging and appreciative as our husbands may be, they are related to us and love us and have to support us. It's nice to have someone not related to you pat you on the back. Is this a weakness? How do we combat this need?

Right now, I do not desire to work full-time while my children are so little. But I would if I needed to. When I have worked in the past five years, I have been committed to only doing what would help my family AND not harm my family. For me, that means, I cannot agree to do something that is putting stress on our family. That is one thing I don't miss about full-time job.... stress.

I have liked a verse in Psalm 90:17 this week: "Establish the work of our hands for us--yes, establish the work of our hands." This has been a prayer for me this week as I wonder about my work.