When We Mess Up

Funny that I wrote earlier about my kids' making messes, literal or otherwise. What about when we are the ones who mess up?

This evening we were making pizzas for our dinner. I had set out the dough and bowls of sauce, cheese, and toppings on the kitchen island, and my 3- and 5-year-olds were sitting in stools to create their own pizzas. As soon as they finished, my 5-year-old, getting tired and slap happy, got down off the stool and knocked it over backwards while pulling on my daughter's stool. I whirled around when I heard the loud bang of the stool's falling, and when I saw his rough behavior with my daughter's stool, too, I shouted, "Not smart." I then explained that the 3-year-old could fall, it was dangerous, etc. Everyone switched gears and left the kitchen while the pizzas were in the oven.

About 30 minutes later, it dawned on me that my son might have interpreted "not smart" in a different way than I intended it. I called him in and talked to him about it. I asked if he thought I was saying he was not smart. He did. I told him I was not saying that. I held his face in my hands and knelt down on the floor to be at his level. I looked him in the eye and told him he is very smart. I then explained what I had meant before, that the action was not smart because one stool had already fallen and the other one could have fallen with his sister in it. I asked how he had felt when he thought I was saying he wasn't smart. He said it hurt his feelings. I said I did not want to hurt his feelings and said I was sorry and asked if he'd forgive me. He said in his sweet clear honest precious baby boy voice, "I forgive you." I said I want to make sure that you hear me telling you how smart you are.

I kept reiterating tonight in every example of smart things he was doing. I read somewhere that for every negative thing you hear, it takes like a million (can't remember exact number) positive things to counteract the negative. Ugh.

I feel like all I can do is pray and ask that God will cover over my son with His grace and protect him from all the ways I have messed up. I wonder what I else I have said that I haven't reflected upon or corrected or asked forgiveness.

Am I careful with my words? Am I wise with my words?

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (Ephesians 4:29)