The Party

It went well! It was really fun and not stressful. We did not even have a babysitter to watch the kids so we could be host and hostess. That's how low key it was once it started. We had about 30 people from 4-6:30, the weather was amazing so we stayed mainly outside. It was happy and good.

The food prep was almost all finished yesterday--a must since this morning I had an appointment and then the school Halloween parties to attend. Thanks to some friends' emails of recipes at the beginning of the week, I finalized the menu Wednesday, and my sweet husband went to the store that night to get all the fixins.

With wonderful weather finally, our plan was to have food inside and drinks outside (the dining room opens onto the patio, so we could just keep the door open). I basically drew a map of my dining room table and had plates and napkins in the middle on both sides. Then I had sweet stuff on one side, and salty stuff on the other. Because the party was 4-6:30, it was a snackfest instead of a meal. BUT this group can eat, and I have got to learn this fact. Every time, we cut it close with food.

The food was a mix of easy and a little thought/time. Sweet: Gingersnaps with Pumpkin Dip, Caramel Apple Dip with apples and pretzels, Pumpkin Bread and Pumpkin Bread mini muffins, candy corn and candy sours (happy color on the table)! Salty: Mexican Pinwheels, Chips and Guacamole and Salsa, Cheese plate with crackers, Cashews.

The table centerpiece turned out cute, too, and was very low stress (took about 10 minutes to pull together). I had planned to get some flowers and berries to intersperse, but I ran out of time. Instead, we had a fall plant that I put into a tureen. Candlesticks and various votives. And lots of gourds and pumpkins and a few little Halloween decor items (stuffed witch, two stuffed pumpkins).

Finding all the serving pieces took a little more time, but thanks to my 4-year-old helper, we got it together. She created a "pattern" (thank you, Montessori education) of sticky note colors, and as I labeled the notes, she would stick them on the serving piece. All the serving pieces were shades of green or fallish yellow.

While we worked on the table, my husband was gussying up the yard. He took a half day today so he could finish mowing, edging, and all the yard work he does so well. Our drink table had pumpkins and galvanized tubs of ice with the drinks. Plus on the pation, a cool stainless steel cooler that my parents gave hubbie as a gift one Christmas (and stainless trashcan for trash!).

At 2:25, the baby woke up from his nap, which reminded me I needed to pick up my 5-year-old from school. When we got back at 2:40, my baby had an unusually long snack time in his high chair so I could keep working.

Hubbie finished his part at 3:45 and jumped in the shower. I finished about the same time and got the baby changed and handed him to my husband just as the first guests arrived (early! is that necessary?). Then I changed into my duds and could join the party. Except for a few times of replenishing the food, we could relax and enjoy the party.

Loved it. Thanks for the help many of you gave me.

And mom, sorry. I loved the idea of using carved-out gourds and pumpkins as serving dishes, but it sounded better on Tuesday than it did today when I was running late. And MK, the idea of using carved-out pumpkins as vases also sounded amazing on Monday, but today, it sounded a little hard to pull off. Maybe when the kids are older! For now, it's all good enough!

Busy Busy Holidays

Everyone is busy these days, ramping up preparations for the holidays. Carving pumpkins; hanging webs, spiders, and ghosts on the houses and trees; getting costumes and candy ready; hosting parties or attending them. And people are already buzzing with plans for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Meal plans, gift giving, cards to send, travel plans.

This time of year kicks off a season of insanity. Just writing about it is getting my adrenaline going, making me want to make a list and check it twice.

The truth is, even though we have this party tomorrow at our house, I find myself looking past it to all the other things that need to get done, too. Somehow, I ordered our Christmas cards this week. Good! But what about getting my house organized and decorated and food prepared for tomorrow?

Well, thanks to friends who sent me some festive recipes, I now have a "menu" for the party. I also have the groceries. Today I have to get busy with cooking.

I decided I needed to read a little reminder about busy-ness, and I thought of Mary and Martha. Martha opened her home to Jesus. Her sister Mary, "sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made." She started complaining to Him that it wasn't fair and He should make Mary get up and help. Jesus said, "'Martha, Martha,... you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her" (Luke 10: 38-42).

Martha was doing what had to be done, but she lost her focus. Jesus was gentle in His reminder; He re-focused her heart.

I want to create a warm, festive atmosphere at our party, but I don't want to be stressed. When I put the world's perfectionist pressure on myself, I get stressed. I then get impatient with my kids and race around. Because my mom and grandmother are amazing hostesses, I put pressure and expectations on myself to perform this high level of hospitality. But I need to choose what is better, the one thing, and keep my eyes there while completing what has to be done.

Hmmm... I'd better get busy. Busy in a focused way? Might need some people to pray for me!

House Daydreams

Since we got married 7 1/2 years ago, we have lived in 4 different houses, 2 different states, 3 different cities. That is not including the 2 summers (2 different apartments) in New York City. I have really sweet nesting memories in each place.

We have lived in this house for 3 1/2 years, a record by far. We have loved this house, but it has been a transition since we moved from a larger house in a different state where the housing prices were lower. Since it is smaller AND our family has grown, we sometimes daydream about adding on or moving.

Not so easy though. We bought this house at the top of the housing market... just before the economy went south (thanks in large part to that fabulous high housing market). The moves before--despite our short stays in the homes--we sold our houses quickly and made money on the sales. With the housing market's fall, we have needed to change our expectations about the ease of moving.

A year and half ago we listed our house when we knew we were expecting baby #3 and weren't sure where he was going to fit. After a few weeks, we decided the timing wasn't good and we would make it work here. Necessity is the mother of invention, and boy did we get creative with our storage. Thank you, Container Store. Thank you, storage unit.

Since the bedrooms were going to need to accomodate another person and crib, there wouldn't be space for toys. So, we turned a storage room attached to our garage into a playroom. We added indoor/outdoor carpet, paint, shelves, and a window unit for A.C. Since the boys share a room and wouldn't have space for more drawers in their room, we had their closet maximized with shelves, drawers, and only a little short hanging space (little boys don't have much to hang up!). We then put the rocker in our room. We also added a storage bench and shelf with hooks and baskets in our kitchen to try to make a little "mudroom" area for school bags, shoes, etc. And we added drawers to our pantry to make it more user friendly. We did a few other closet-enhancing strategies, and voila! We were set.

We still are set is the bottom line.

But every now and then, I still look around at houses and daydream about a little more space. Sometimes I chastise myself for that. We are so blessed; how can I want more? Other times I just think it's fun to creatively imagine other spaces and homes and how one would make that work.

Today, I was looking for this passage to help me get my mind right before the Lord: "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things" (Philippians 4: 8)

This reminded me that it's not necessarily wrong to daydream about a house (as long as I'm not coveting it and ungrateful for what I have and neglecting other things in my life that are true and truly my responsibility).

But I also read the part right above: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4: 6-7).

How sweet that I just don't need to worry about this. I can pray about it, be thankful, present my requests, and have God's peace guard me.

I'm feeling peaceful about our home.

Halloween Hospitality

I have several friends that have the gift of hospitality, and I love how they inspire me in different ways.

One is always an open door, even having people over for Sunday lunches and mid-week dinners, both times I tend to think of as too complicated. I have even dropped by when each of her four kids has a friend over for dinner and her husband is out of town. The kids are piled around the dining room table, saying grace, and passing around the chicken nuggets and other of their favorites goodies. She inspires me to spend more time on the asking and welcoming and less time on the fretting about the details (though the details are always taken care of, too). Her focus is clearly on people.

Another friend is wonderful about setting an occasion. She comes up with a brunch to meet parents in a new class or a dessert to swap recipe ideas. She even makes an impromptu lunch at her house into a time you feel you've gone out to lunch--sitting in the dining room with a beautiful table set. She inspires me to be creative and not wait for a certain time to entertain. She is clearly having fun.

These are friends in the same town whom I see often; but another friend in Paris is an amazing hostess as well. She threw another Texas ex-pat a baby shower at a Mexican restaurant in Paris. She threw a going away party with a U.S. flag tablecloth, personalized quotes at each place. Plus, I've eaten lots of her food, and she's an incredible cook. The details. Oh, the details. She's pretty Martha Stewartish. It could be intimidating except that she (and her husband) are so cute and loving and truly have in their hearts to cherish the people they are celebrating. It's an amazing gift. When another friend and I visited them in their old home of the Cayman Islands (no, I'm not making this up), her husband greeted us with Mojitos, and she made Key Lime Pie (among other delicacies).  She inspires me to strive for excellence.

We are having a party on Friday for my husband's colleagues and their families. Between passing around the stomach bug in our family and being out of town, I've done nada for the party. I'm trying to get my creative juices going here by reflecting on my friends' talents. I'm open to ideas.

Repetition for Emphasis

How often do we remind our children to use nice manners? How often do we reinforce their positive behavior to prompt them to continue? And how often do we say, "I love you," to make sure they can have no doubt of our feelings for them?

Repetition as a tool in parenting is not a new thing. Repetition is not new in teaching, and it's not new in writing or art.

As I learned in a design class in college, repetition is a principle of design. An element repeated throughout a design can aid its structure or provide a pattern.

As a former English teacher with a special love for poetry, I can't help noticing the design of poems, and the design of Psalm 107 is a great study of form. (What also makes this Psalm relevant to this blog is that it was written as a celebration of the Jews' return from their exile in Babylon; I'm not a Biblical scholar, but I'm thinking this is what I've written about with Jeremiah 29. Please correct me if I'm wrong!)

The Psalm has four sections, as well as an introduction and conclusion. Each section contains the repetition of two different verses--the major themes of the Psalm. But all around the repetition are the gritty and gorgeous details of specific stories of God's grace.

The repetition:
"Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress" ...
"Let them give thanks to the Lord for His unfailing love
and His wonderful deeds for men"
These strong themes of the Lord's deliverance, unfailing love, and wonderful deeds for men are evident time and time again.
But within the repetition are the sweet specifics of WHO cried out and was delivered:
--some wandered in desert wastelands, finding no way to a city where they could settle; they were hungry and thirsty
--some sat in darkness and the deepest gloom, prisoners suffering in iron chains
--some suffered affliction because of their rebellion
--some were lost at sea in a storm
Somewhere in these lost faces are people that look just like us.

And after we see the needs, we witness the boldness of the Lord's response with His wonderful deeds:
--He led them by a straight way to a city where they could settle. ... He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.
--He brought them out of darkness and deepest gloom and broke their chains
--He sent forth His word and healed them; He rescued them from the grave.
--He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. ... He guided them to their desired haven.

I love that we have a God of repetition. I love that we have a God with new mercies every morning and for every need.

A Listening Ear

The last few weeks in Bible Study, one of the teachers has been opening our time together with "listening prayer." She plays a song while we close our eyes and try to still our thoughts and listen.

I first thought about listening during prayer in high school after reading an entry in the devotional Streams in the Desert. It talked about how our tendency in prayer is to talk, talk, talk, ask, ask, ask, but not listen. If prayer is our time with God, we usually are pretty one-sided. We might think of reading Scripture as our time to listen, but I am challenged to be more open to listening during my prayer time.

"He wakens me morning by morning,
wakens my ear to listen like one being taught.
The Sovereign Lord has opened my ears,
and I have not been rebellious;
I have not drawn back" (Isaiah 50:4-5)

Reading to the Baby

This morning I read two stories to our 11-month-old while we rocked in our cushy white glider. I try to read at least one book to him each day, and this morning he was being so still and watchful while I read that I went on to the second book.

I had gotten these particular books at the library when I last took my 4- and 5-year-olds to replenish their supply. That trip was the first time I checked books out for the baby. We have so many well-worn board books at home that I usually grab those from the shelf, but it was nice to change it up.

I think from the age of 10 months to 2 it is sometimes hard time to find the perfect book to grab a little one's attention. At that age, they love to eat books and rip books and occasionally flip pages and look at pictures and bang on the covers. But actually engage in the story?

A few that are tried and true in our family are, of course, Goodnight Moon and Brown Bear, Brown Bear, but also Dear, Zoo. In fact, I need to get new copies for the latter two because ours are really disgusting by now and probably a health hazard for a teething baby.

I'd love to hear other recommendations for baby books! The holidays are coming (and my baby's first birthday! Say it isn't so...)!

Eat, Build and Pray

This morning, I heard a talk that referenced Jeremiah 29:11, the verse I had referred to in my last post. Since this had come up twice in five days, I thought I should open my Bible to that passage and look at it again.

This little verse--"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future'"--is actually part of a letter the prophet Jeremiah sent from Jerusalem to God's people in exile in Babylon. This fact immediately adds depth to God's promise of hope. His people have been taken captive and carried in exile away from home. Yet, as reminded in the book of Ruth (written about in the post "Not the End of the Story" ), God doesn't quit in the middle of the hard part. He pushes us through to the other side.

Before Jeremiah 29:11, the letter gives specific purpose and plans for what God's people should do DURING the exile. He does not say to sit and wait for something to happen; He says to get busy! Dig in! Bloom where you're planted! He specifically tells them that during these 70 years of exile, they should build houses, settle down, plant gardens and eat what they produce, marry, have kids, increase in number, "seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper" (Jer. 29:5-7).

Reading this passage, I am thinking of the several times I have moved to new cities and thinking of all the friends and family who have moved to new cities. It is not easy.

I am also reminded of the more figurative move we make when we go from one season of our lives to another, whether from being single to getting married, having children, starting a new job, experiencing a death. These seasons could all feel like an exile from our comfort zone to a strange new land that we didn't necessarily sign up to visit.

I love the promises of Jeremiah 29:11--that God knows the plans for us, for our future, for hope.

But I also love the wise instruction of Jeremiah 29:5-7 for where we are NOW in life, not the unknown of the future.
--Build
--Settle
--Plant
--Eat
--Seek peace and prosperity
--Pray

How can I do each of these things right here where I am today? In my life, in my family, in my home, in my city...

20th Reunion

My 20th high school reunion is this weekend. I'm excited to see friends I've kept up with but don't often see, and I'm excited to see those I haven't seen in 20 years! I also think it will be fun that a couple of the events include our children.

The usual conversation is going back-and-forth among friends: what are you going to wear? And I know I need to spend some time packing today for all of us! Packing for four (my husband has to do his own) is definitely a time-consuming process, especially if we are supposed to look cute all weekend!

When I graduated from high school in 1990, a friend's mother gave several of us little white monogrammed pillows to take with us to college. The monogram read "Jer. 29:11."

I did not know the verse and went home to look it up.

"'For I know the plans I have for you,'declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future'" (Jeremiah 29:11).

I love that The Word is living and active, that this scripture holds true today as it did 20 years ago.

Some friends may not be in a place they wanted to be at their reunion--whether because of a few more wrinkles, no time for highlights, extra baby weight, or more serious issues like divorce or job loss. But that does not mean the Lord doesn't have plans for a hope and a future for them (and me).

I also think of the friends that I wish would be there that won't. One in particular makes me cry right this second. My sweet friend Elizabeth passed away from breast cancer the summer my first baby was born, 5 years ago. I still ache, thinking of her. I am thankful for her life and the ways she taught me--both in middle school, high school and beyond. I am thankful she is with the Lord and that my hope and future with her is still to come.

Who knows what the weekend will bring? But the Lord knows the plans He has for us.

Quick Easy Kid Crafts

It's always helpful to have a few crafts at your disposal when you have kids at home. We are lucky to have an office that is part adult, part kid, part dog. It's the most disorganized room in the house and usually looks like a colorful pit of artwork, stacks of paper, and random toys that toddled in and were deposited. The dog's crate in the corner has become the "drying rack" for paintings and gluey pictures.

Like most, I keep a lot of supplies on hand: the usual paints (dot paints are my favorite), dry erase pens and pages, crayons, colored pencils, markers, stickers, stamps, glitter and glitter glue (not my fave to deal with), construction paper, white paper, glue, coloring books, activity books, index cards, scissors, tape.

We also have a few items to pull out for special projects: pre-cut cardboard shapes (like pirate ships or flowers) to decorate, beads and string, Perler Beads, Mosaic art, and a newly received gift of Rub Art.

But a few projects sprout up in the moment. Here are some you might enjoy.

1. Leaf Man-- You can read the book Leaf Man by Lois Ehlert. Then get a paper bag (decorated or not) to go outside for a leaf hunt (and sticks and berries and nuts). Then go inside and get construction paper and glue to make a leaf man. If you don't have the book, just make a collage person out of what you find in your yard.



2. Hanger Fan-- Get a wire hanger that has paper on the outside. Fold the wire handle in so it's not sharp. Use dot paint or other paint to cover the white paper. After it dries, add marker, stickers, glitter, or whatever else to decorate this "fan."

3. Cloud Art-- Go outside and lay in the grass. Stare at the clouds and notice what shapes they look like. Then go back inside and glue cotton balls into shapes like the clouds.

Anyone else have some fun, fast ideas?

My Good Things

Sometimes I struggle with wanting to define my place in the world. I am probably trying to be in control, take the reins of life and know definitively--"this is my role; this is who I am; this is where we live and will put down roots." Sometimes I extend this into a desire to tell the future--"where will we be in 10 years? are we having any more children? will I go back to work one day? when? and what will I be doing?"

I have come back to Psalm 16 twice this week, and it has been sweet to me. I see so many nuggets in it, but I will focus on one aspect today.

"'You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing. ...
Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;
you have made my lot secure.
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
surely I have a delightful inheritance" (Psalm 16: 2, 5-6).

What is my assigned portion? What assignment has God given to me personally at this point in time? Apart from Him, I have NO good thing. So, no point in striving after things of this world, things that are apart from Him. The portion He has assigned to me has also been put in my lot. He's made my lot secure. He's drawn a boundary around where I need to be right now... these pleasant places... a delightful inheritance!

It helped me today to ask: what is my assigned portion? I came up with this short list: home (and I'm lumping husband in with this!), children, and writing.

I think this question is a good one to ask at different seasons in life. God is so personal with us, so individual, that He can reveal our sometimes shifting portions in their time. I want to sit still and relish the security of being where He has me.

"Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure" (Psalm 16: 9).

Daughter of a King

I am amazed at how much little girls love the idea of a princess. The pink, the purple, the glitter, the gown, the crown. Dressing up, whether for Halloween or just because it's a Thursday after lunchtime, is such fun for my little girl. I love that once she's in costume, she behaves differently. She walks tall, and she often twirls, morphing into a ballerina princess.

The past couple of days, I have thought several times about my identity as a daughter--not the daughter of my parents, but the daughter of The King.

"Those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, 'Abba, Father.' The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs--heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ" (Romans 8:14-17).

What does this sonship, or daughtership in my case, mean? What does being an heir to the King mean?

I do not have to prove myself to anyone. I am the daughter of the King. I do not have to earn my worth. I am the daughter of the King. I do not have to strive for the things of this world. I am the daughter of the King. I can walk tall and feel beautiful. I am the daughter of the King. I can be bold and not fearful. I am protected, the daughter of the King. I am provided for. I am the daughter of the King.

What will I do differently today, knowing that I am the daughter of the King?

Working with my Hands

My grandmother taught me to needlepoint one summer. When a friend and I visited her for a week, she took us to a needlepoint store and helped us each pick out a canvas--mine was a vibrant 80s patterned heart. We sat on her sectional with our colorful yarns and talked and stitched. You'd have thought we were matrons, but we were in elementary school.

The sectional is now in my family room, and I haven't needlepointed in years. But I have started knitting in the past few years.

A former student taught me how to knit while I was trying to teach her High School English. I was pregnant and thought a colorful scarf was just the thing to make me feel like a new mommy.

Three years and two moves later, I finished the scarf and gave it to my sister-in-law. I have now multiplied my scarf output and have added washcloths to my repertoire. I learned how to do a hat, but it didn't stick. I'll try again though.

There is something so relaxing about knitting, really any sewing by hand (I am trying to glamourize hemming because I need to go fix a hem in my little girl's dress). You get in a rhythm and can talk or watch T.V. but still feel creative and productive. Another perk of your hands' being busy: you don't snack as much!

Right before my recommitment to knitting, I was going through my usual restlessness about being a stay-at-home mom. I was reading Proverbs 31 again and recognizing all the many talents of this woman who works and manages her home so stunningly well. One verse caught my eye:

"She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands" (Prov. 31: 13).

Hmmm.... Such a still and quiet habit for such a busy woman. She is working hard from morning dark to evening dark, and not only does she keep her household and family in order, but she also does great business--buying real estate, planting a vineyard, trading, and selling the garments she makes. Of course, this woman of noble character is also godly and wise. She's the ultimate super mom.

But I like thinking of her in the quiet moments, working with her hands. Maybe it's dark outside. Maybe she's cooking or sewing, but she's being creative.

Being a mom is often about everyone else and not about ourselves. Finding a creative outlet is to me vital to staying energized.

How do we make time for creativity in our lives? In what ways do we make time to work with our hands?