Parent Coffee

Yesterday morning was a parent coffee at my children's Montessori school. The administrators had brought in a prominent local psychologist who focused on development in 2- to 5-year-olds.  Halfway through the talk, I started scribbling notes.

A few nuggets:

• With some mothers working and some staying at home, we have begun viewing our kids as products, indicators that "we made the right call" in our choice to work or stay home.  (My reflection: Am I thinking of my child as a product? In what ways do I buy into our society's pressure to "produce" certain traits in my child?)
• We put pressure on our kids by pushing early reading, by putting them in team sports before ages 7-8, by overstructuring their lives, by telling them they are so smart all the time. (My reflection:  Am I allowing my kids to just fall in love with reading? I feel like I do a pretty good job of not overly structuring, but I don't know because it's so prevalent.  I want to write more about the smart thing because I'm reading a book right now that mentioned the same thing. I'll try to get to that tomorrow!)
• We must let our kids play.  They need self-structured play.  (My reflection: I love watching my kids come up with the most random "games." Last night, I went to get my pajamas and found that my closet had been transformed into a pink play hut full of pink blankets and random pink items from my daughter's room.  There was another pink quilt spread on the floor between some pillows near our bed.  I can only imagine what this other room was!) (Interestingly, she also said yesterday that we have a generation of boys who do not know how to play together because they sit side-by-side and play video games! Yikes!)
• Our children should be spending no more than an hour on electronics each day.  (My reflection: I have to admit I was thankful she didn't completely poo poo T.V.  But I found it helpful to have that guideline that, to me, was a little more realistic than NO T.V.)
• Be careful what our children are exposed to.  (My reflection: I think I do this, but I didn't even think about it before I had kids. She talked about how inappropriate the news is and how much violence our kids are exposed to, even when we think they aren't paying attention. I do think having a DVR is helpful with kids because you can record appropriate things, don't have to have commercials, etc.)
• Beware of the intrusion of cell phones and the computer into our families.  (My reflection: I try to make a point of getting off the phone when I'm picking up my kids from school so I can hear about their day. But I know I am guilty of being distracted by email when they want my attention. How can we limit this? )

I thought her talk was so interesting and offered great guidelines in this mommy adventure.  How can we integrate these ideas into our lives?