New cities or new churches or new schools or new neighborhoods bring new friends. Even though I have been in this city almost 4 years, I am still making friends here. I read something the other day that talked about how new friendships can stretch us, make us grow. That made me think about some recent new friendships.
Last week, my friend Lauren gathered a group of us to meet at a Thai restaurant in order to spend time with a woman who just moved here a few months ago. I called Lauren on the way there because I was running late and wasn't entirely sure where I was going. Plus, the neighborhood was seeming a teeny bit sketchy. I was still on the phone with her when I found it. "Um... how did we hear about this place?" I asked Lauren. I pulled into the lot of the restaurant which was attached to, as Holly later put it, "a stop and shoot." The other women saw children peeking out the window sill of that convenience store, but I didn't take enough time to really assess. I didn't want to be hanging in the parking lot too long.
Once inside, I completely left my exterior doubts outside. It was a beautiful, cozy room with wood paneling and a tranquil setting. I saw Holly already seated and sipping tea, and I saw another woman at a different table who looked like she could be part of the group, and as soon as Laura walked in, she was able to connect all of four of us without Lauren's help, which was good because she was still trying to find this tidy little restaurant.
By the end of the evening, I had met two new people, Laura and Becca, and had tried some yummy new dishes. I love ordering family style anyway, but it was nice to do with people you didn't know well because you felt too bad to say--"I don't think that sounds good" so you tried more. (Except Lauren, who is pregnant, had a license to say, "No. I won't eat that."). Laura is an architect and just bought a house in a historical district, and Becca is married to an architect and lives in another historical area. So, this totally fed my desire to be an artist (or at least be friends with them!). Plus, one had been to Thailand and one to Nepal. I mean really. So cool.
All this to say, I like the stretching part of meeting new friends. I like the new connections and the way your mind opens up and goes in a new direction than it has in a while (Nepal? Not sure my mind has ever really traveled there). I like the unexpected turns of conversation; you don't have the same ole complaints you share with some old friends, and you can't get into too much gossip because you don't know all the same people. It pushes your topics.
Even though we didn't linger in the parking lot (because some new characters were arriving at the convenience store), we had lingered at the table inside. And my thoughts have returned to that table and food and restaurant several times since then, thinking I need to cultivate new friendships more often.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Foiled Again
I have always heard the story of how Abraham Lincoln lost all these political races before becoming one of the most memorable and respected Presidents of all time. I have heard about people being told they could not do something, so that made them all the more determined to accomplish that goal. My husband recently heard a talk by Aimee Mullins, a woman who had her legs amputated as a baby but who has gone on to compete as a runner, be a model, and be an actress. http://www.ted.com/speakers/aimee_mullins.html
I usually hear these inspirational stories a bit removed from myself. I think of the human spirit, the way God works hardships to the good. I tend to think that these are extreme cases of nobility, people designed to be heroes.
What I don't dwell on is the part about getting over rejection. The part about saying yes, when circumstances say no.
That is hard stuff, and that is something I encounter most days. I set a goal like getting up early to write, but the baby wakes up at that time, too. Goal interrupted. I set a goal like going to the gym to exercise, but the baby is sick and can't be in the gym nursery. These are little bitty examples from an ordinary human life--not anything like the heroic goals of some people out there--but what I am thinking about today is that it would be heroic for me to respond to these "No's" with some creative "Yes's."
Yes, I have to be realistic that when babies and children are in the picture (a beautiful picture!), things are messy. Schedules are unpredictable. You put them ahead of you. You take care of them. You love them.
But what if I didn't accept defeat of my goals? What if I didn't give up so easily? What if I worked harder and was more creative with my time?
I'm just thinking that Aimee Mullins and Abraham Lincoln did not throw their hands up and say, "Forget it. Why even try?"
I usually hear these inspirational stories a bit removed from myself. I think of the human spirit, the way God works hardships to the good. I tend to think that these are extreme cases of nobility, people designed to be heroes.
What I don't dwell on is the part about getting over rejection. The part about saying yes, when circumstances say no.
That is hard stuff, and that is something I encounter most days. I set a goal like getting up early to write, but the baby wakes up at that time, too. Goal interrupted. I set a goal like going to the gym to exercise, but the baby is sick and can't be in the gym nursery. These are little bitty examples from an ordinary human life--not anything like the heroic goals of some people out there--but what I am thinking about today is that it would be heroic for me to respond to these "No's" with some creative "Yes's."
Yes, I have to be realistic that when babies and children are in the picture (a beautiful picture!), things are messy. Schedules are unpredictable. You put them ahead of you. You take care of them. You love them.
But what if I didn't accept defeat of my goals? What if I didn't give up so easily? What if I worked harder and was more creative with my time?
I'm just thinking that Aimee Mullins and Abraham Lincoln did not throw their hands up and say, "Forget it. Why even try?"
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Recognizing Talents
Last night at dinner we were talking about someone who is artistic. The kids each mentioned an artist they had met recently, and my husband pointed out to them that each of us has certain gifts and talents. He looked at my five-year-old son and asked, "Do you know what some of your gifts are?"
Without hesitation, my son, said, "Yes. Smart. Leader. And I help people when they need it."
Wow. I was bowled over. I had anticipated some confusion and our having to help him out, perhaps a discussion about how gifts can be more highly developed over time. Seeds planted...blossoms eventually growing...that sort of thing.
I guess I could learn a thing or two from my son. He feels sure of some wonderful qualities in himself and knows they are gifts. If I ask myself, "Do you know what your gifts are?," what is my answer?
I think in some sense, I may have had a clearer picture of innate gifts and interests as a child. Some of the games we played, especially when alone or "unsupervised," revealed such interesting versions of ourselves. The library we started in my brother's room, the plays we were always producing and starring in, the rodeo we planned, the school we started for the toddlers on our block, the kid-fort-town we designed behind the garage. If we could dream it up, it could happen.
As adults, we sometimes let obligations, responsibility, and maybe a little cynicism cloud the picture. If we can dream it up, we don't always believe it can happen. We overthink the logistics. We spend too much time planning a dive instead of jumping into the pool, making a splash, and starting to swim.
Sometimes we should think back to those bold dreams and childhood clarities. Oh, to know that you are wise... or a leader.. or a helper or... What a gift to internalize these qualities and feel sure.
Without hesitation, my son, said, "Yes. Smart. Leader. And I help people when they need it."
Wow. I was bowled over. I had anticipated some confusion and our having to help him out, perhaps a discussion about how gifts can be more highly developed over time. Seeds planted...blossoms eventually growing...that sort of thing.
I guess I could learn a thing or two from my son. He feels sure of some wonderful qualities in himself and knows they are gifts. If I ask myself, "Do you know what your gifts are?," what is my answer?
I think in some sense, I may have had a clearer picture of innate gifts and interests as a child. Some of the games we played, especially when alone or "unsupervised," revealed such interesting versions of ourselves. The library we started in my brother's room, the plays we were always producing and starring in, the rodeo we planned, the school we started for the toddlers on our block, the kid-fort-town we designed behind the garage. If we could dream it up, it could happen.
As adults, we sometimes let obligations, responsibility, and maybe a little cynicism cloud the picture. If we can dream it up, we don't always believe it can happen. We overthink the logistics. We spend too much time planning a dive instead of jumping into the pool, making a splash, and starting to swim.
Sometimes we should think back to those bold dreams and childhood clarities. Oh, to know that you are wise... or a leader.. or a helper or... What a gift to internalize these qualities and feel sure.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
The Discipline of Writing
Writing is like a diet regimen. You have to get up every day and make it a priority. You have to make time in your schedule to deal with the logistics...What's the weekly menu? What do I already have and what do I need? When will I make the meal? How will I stay inspired? How can I exercise to stay in shape?
Funny how on New Year's Day I can re-commit, and here on January 19th, I am having to re-commit again.
What I know is that when I write regularly, I start thinking like a writer. All during the day, I get ideas and think, "I want to write about that;" I'll think of phrases or hear dialogue I want to remember. I get excited to write. I feel like it's part of the day, part of my "to do" list.
What I also know is that when I don't write regularly, I find it very hard to start again. My mind is blank, no ideas. None. I look at a lonely computer and remember when. I think about a sharpened pencil and blank journal and all the ideas that were, and I wonder where they went.
Last week, I fell off the bandwagon. The end of last week, we listed our house for sale. So during the first part of the week, when I wanted to sit down and write, I told myself, I had to do some chores first. I needed to prepare the house and clean out closets and pack up clutter and go to Goodwill and be stressed and cranky and not exercise either for that matter...just try to focus on the task at hand. But I have to say I missed the writing.
And though it's already Wednesday of this week, I really didn't know what to say. So I'm just saying that I fell off the horse and am climbing back in that already dusty saddle.
Funny how on New Year's Day I can re-commit, and here on January 19th, I am having to re-commit again.
What I know is that when I write regularly, I start thinking like a writer. All during the day, I get ideas and think, "I want to write about that;" I'll think of phrases or hear dialogue I want to remember. I get excited to write. I feel like it's part of the day, part of my "to do" list.
What I also know is that when I don't write regularly, I find it very hard to start again. My mind is blank, no ideas. None. I look at a lonely computer and remember when. I think about a sharpened pencil and blank journal and all the ideas that were, and I wonder where they went.
Last week, I fell off the bandwagon. The end of last week, we listed our house for sale. So during the first part of the week, when I wanted to sit down and write, I told myself, I had to do some chores first. I needed to prepare the house and clean out closets and pack up clutter and go to Goodwill and be stressed and cranky and not exercise either for that matter...just try to focus on the task at hand. But I have to say I missed the writing.
And though it's already Wednesday of this week, I really didn't know what to say. So I'm just saying that I fell off the horse and am climbing back in that already dusty saddle.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Growing in Freedom
"And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power..." (Colossians 1:10-11a).
Focusing today on "growing in the knowledge of God," my mind does not leap to what verses or Bible trivia I need to know (mind knowledge); rather, I think of my desire to grow in heart knowledge of God's true character. Simply, I want to know God, the real God, the faithful God, the loving God.
I too often fall into false notions of who God is and what He thinks of me. Is he mad? Disappointed? I try to make God fit into my little world when, in fact, he is huge. Staring at the stars, I am reminded of my smallness, and I need to remember that God is bigger than the stars. It's not all about me. I need to pay more attention to the whole truth of God's character, not dwell on half-truths. God is loving, but do I realize the extent of his love?
One of the truths I have only partly swallowed is the freedom I have through Christ.
"It is for freedom that Christ set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery" (Galatians 5:1).
"He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor" (Isaiah 61:1b-2a).
"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom" (2 Corinthians 3:17).
I have come face-to-face with my lack of freedom lately. I care too much what people think. A friend reminded me recently of this verse:
"Am I trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men?" (Galatians 1:10).
Wow. Wake up call. I have freedom from this! I do not have to be a slave to what people think of me, to being a people pleaser. What are ways to let go of this habit?
A friend had asked me to her house last night to hear about a women's retreat she has attended twice. Each time she has left feeling rejuvenated.
The woman who started this retreat, Melissa Tamplin, told us part of her life story that led to launching these retreats. When she told about the name PURE, she gave its definition: "thus and no other..." She was talking about a ministry aimed at helping women grow in this way, the purest form of themselves, not mixed with the world's influences. I heard this definition and thought about my desire to grow in freedom, to celebrate the total person God made me to be, not be affected by the approval of others or the influence of the world. I don't know if I'm going to this conference yet (http://pure2011austin.eventbrite.com/), but I am thinking about it.
Focusing today on "growing in the knowledge of God," my mind does not leap to what verses or Bible trivia I need to know (mind knowledge); rather, I think of my desire to grow in heart knowledge of God's true character. Simply, I want to know God, the real God, the faithful God, the loving God.
I too often fall into false notions of who God is and what He thinks of me. Is he mad? Disappointed? I try to make God fit into my little world when, in fact, he is huge. Staring at the stars, I am reminded of my smallness, and I need to remember that God is bigger than the stars. It's not all about me. I need to pay more attention to the whole truth of God's character, not dwell on half-truths. God is loving, but do I realize the extent of his love?
One of the truths I have only partly swallowed is the freedom I have through Christ.
"It is for freedom that Christ set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery" (Galatians 5:1).
"He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor" (Isaiah 61:1b-2a).
"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom" (2 Corinthians 3:17).
I have come face-to-face with my lack of freedom lately. I care too much what people think. A friend reminded me recently of this verse:
"Am I trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men?" (Galatians 1:10).
Wow. Wake up call. I have freedom from this! I do not have to be a slave to what people think of me, to being a people pleaser. What are ways to let go of this habit?
A friend had asked me to her house last night to hear about a women's retreat she has attended twice. Each time she has left feeling rejuvenated.
The woman who started this retreat, Melissa Tamplin, told us part of her life story that led to launching these retreats. When she told about the name PURE, she gave its definition: "thus and no other..." She was talking about a ministry aimed at helping women grow in this way, the purest form of themselves, not mixed with the world's influences. I heard this definition and thought about my desire to grow in freedom, to celebrate the total person God made me to be, not be affected by the approval of others or the influence of the world. I don't know if I'm going to this conference yet (http://pure2011austin.eventbrite.com/), but I am thinking about it.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Bearing Fruit
"...And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience..." (Colossians 1:10-11).
Today I want to focus on the highlighted part of these verses: bearing fruit in every good work. When I think of bearing fruit in the Biblical context, I think of two passages, the one in Galatians on the Fruit of the Spirit and the one in John where Jesus talks about "I am the vine, you are the branches." I want to look at those and think about how I might bear more fruit in every good work this year.
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control" (Galatians 5:22-23). As I look through this list, I see some fruits that have grown in me, and I see some that I would love to see grow this year. But the holy spirit's living in me is what produces these many fruits. I cannot do it on my own. To bear more fruit will require more than my desire to do so.
This concept is explained by Jesus's words in John 15:
"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. ... No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. ... This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples" (John 15: 1-8).
I love that, even when we are being pruned in an area, it is so that we might bear more fruit. I love that we can't do it on our own strength. How many times do I have to learn this truth? I love that all the fruit is ultimately to the Father's glory. I love that we are not abandoned in this journey, that we are in a relationship, the vine and branches; he is our support, our roots, our strength and power.
"...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Philippians 1:6).
Today I want to focus on the highlighted part of these verses: bearing fruit in every good work. When I think of bearing fruit in the Biblical context, I think of two passages, the one in Galatians on the Fruit of the Spirit and the one in John where Jesus talks about "I am the vine, you are the branches." I want to look at those and think about how I might bear more fruit in every good work this year.
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control" (Galatians 5:22-23). As I look through this list, I see some fruits that have grown in me, and I see some that I would love to see grow this year. But the holy spirit's living in me is what produces these many fruits. I cannot do it on my own. To bear more fruit will require more than my desire to do so.
This concept is explained by Jesus's words in John 15:
"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. ... No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. ... This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples" (John 15: 1-8).
I love that, even when we are being pruned in an area, it is so that we might bear more fruit. I love that we can't do it on our own strength. How many times do I have to learn this truth? I love that all the fruit is ultimately to the Father's glory. I love that we are not abandoned in this journey, that we are in a relationship, the vine and branches; he is our support, our roots, our strength and power.
"...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Philippians 1:6).
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Run or Tiptoe?
"We have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding" (Colossians 1:9).
How often do we want to know God's will? I am forever wishing I knew what I should do in a particular situation, wishing I knew the future and could plan accordingly now. Life continually throws new challenges at us, new paths we could follow if we choose. How do we know how to make decisions? How do we know if we should go forward with something or hang back cautiously?
I am not pretending to have "the answer" to knowing God's will in all circumstances, but I do think this verse offers insight as I look to the New Year and any new directions I may be pondering.
First of all, knowing God's will involves prayer. We need to be praying, actively seeking God's guidance, as well as allowing other people to pray for us. I remember a friend once advising, "Never pass up the opportunity to let someone pray for you."
Second, knowing his will requires spiritual wisdom and understanding. Such wisdom often stands in opposition to the world's wisdom. Spiritual wisdom can only come from God, as the result of his Holy Spirit giving us discernment to comprehend truth in a specific situation.
As I look to the excitement of a New Year and all its hopes and dreams, I know of several areas in my life that require prayer and spiritual wisdom to know God's will for me. For example, with a new time commitment, how much time should be spent on that commitment? When will I fit it in? How will this impact other aspects of my life? Will I need to make changes to accomodate that commitment?
Through prayer and a prayer journal, I need to spend time bringing each goal for the year before God and pray about it. Once I feel I have understanding, I can run forward on the path instead of tiptoeing. I'm good at tiptoeing. I need to work on the running.
How often do we want to know God's will? I am forever wishing I knew what I should do in a particular situation, wishing I knew the future and could plan accordingly now. Life continually throws new challenges at us, new paths we could follow if we choose. How do we know how to make decisions? How do we know if we should go forward with something or hang back cautiously?
I am not pretending to have "the answer" to knowing God's will in all circumstances, but I do think this verse offers insight as I look to the New Year and any new directions I may be pondering.
First of all, knowing God's will involves prayer. We need to be praying, actively seeking God's guidance, as well as allowing other people to pray for us. I remember a friend once advising, "Never pass up the opportunity to let someone pray for you."
Second, knowing his will requires spiritual wisdom and understanding. Such wisdom often stands in opposition to the world's wisdom. Spiritual wisdom can only come from God, as the result of his Holy Spirit giving us discernment to comprehend truth in a specific situation.
As I look to the excitement of a New Year and all its hopes and dreams, I know of several areas in my life that require prayer and spiritual wisdom to know God's will for me. For example, with a new time commitment, how much time should be spent on that commitment? When will I fit it in? How will this impact other aspects of my life? Will I need to make changes to accomodate that commitment?
Through prayer and a prayer journal, I need to spend time bringing each goal for the year before God and pray about it. Once I feel I have understanding, I can run forward on the path instead of tiptoeing. I'm good at tiptoeing. I need to work on the running.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Waking up to the New Year
After Christmas and New Years, I am always spent. I need to recover from the lack of schedule in all areas of my life. I need to reboot and recharge in order to get some self-discipline and order back into my life and household. Now that school has started and I have had a few moments of quiet in my house, where better to look for motivation than the scriptures?
Here is what I found today that I think is an amazing passage to start the New Year (emphasis is mine):
"...We have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins" (Colossians 1:9-14).
I think I will hang out with this passage for a few days. There is too much in it for one sitting.
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